2016 – Campfires & Coconuts

WordPress + Shitty WiFi = No more posts

Amy Kay — Mon, 09 May 2016 12:55:38 +0000

Hey everyone. I am in the last few days here and am not feeling well. I put in a solid couple of hours writing my next post and the page froze, resulting in a loss of 90% of what I wrote. I cried. What a waste of good nap time.

So I’m in Can Tho Vietnam right now and am about to head to Saigon whereby have one day and then I fly home early the next morning.

I have some really great adventures to share but I think they will have to wait until I am back in Canada. I only have one day left and would like to make an effort to enjoy Vietnam regardless of what my insides think. Please bear with me.

Thanks for enjoying my adventures so far. It’s been great getting comments and messages from you. Hopefully, I will have some campfire stories to share soon.

Koh Rong: Bittersweet Paradise

Amy Kay — Sun, 08 May 2016 16:42:44 +0000

Sitting in my floatie, paddling away from Celine Dion. The bright blue roof is the guesthouse I stayed in.

And yes, I had my toes painted to match the water here on purpose!

You know those calendars with a different beautiful white sand beach scene for each month? Who hasn’t sat at their desk and gazed longingly, wishing they had the time and money to go for a dream vacation to a place so beautiful? Well, I have and I went there!! I had to travel halfway around the world to find paradise, but I found it! Read on and you might find it too!

There are many islands off the coast of Cambodia and only in recent years have they become destinations. Even the more “developed” islands of Koh Rong and Koh Rong Samloen still have long stretches of virgin beaches. As it is now, there are no roads so travel must be done by water or on foot. The power for the island is produced by generators which, according to online whiners, “the fans stop working at midnight so you can’t sleep if it’s hot”.

I began my search for paradise on the larger island of Koh Rong. There are a few sprinklings of bungalows on a few beaches but I chose to stay in the main village at the pier. There was a place the next beach over that had tents on little platforms that I was really excited about but it is really remote and a lot of reviews said the food wasn’t good and the manager was difficult. Many people (locals included) advised against prebooking because there are a lot of places that don’t advertise so you could miss out on a great deal! I prebooked anyway. I had no idea how tiny the village actually was and I wanted something central. Well, it was central – the boats dock at it! Haha! At first, I was really pleased with it. It wasn’t what I expected but I wasn’t really disappointed. It was comfortable and had great views from every side of the building.

The beach here was probably the nicest one I had seen yet. However, there was SO much garbage!! Bags, bottles, nets, rope, everything! It was sad to see but the islands don’t seem to have any sort of garbage pick-up program and there are no bins around to put trash in. I know a lot of it has washed up on the beach but among the trees and along the pathways, garbage. TONS of it! But, I did find I got used to it and was able to look past it. It’s a sad reality there as it was in most of SEA.

Once settled in, it was time to forage for food. Koh Rong has a nasty reputation for serving up food poisoning, so I was a bit nervous. I had breakfast at a pasta place because pasta seemed a safe bet. It was . I didn’t die. The rest of my day was spent wandering the entire stretch of beach, perhaps in search of a place where I WOULDN’T hear Celine Dion as it seemed a lot of places were cranking out her tunes. Not sure why, this village is known for wild parties and drunken shenanigans. Maybe they use her music to drive up liquor sales during the day?

I went back to my room and blew up the floatie I bought on Koh Phangan. I grabbed my camera and my key and I was bounding through the bisquick-like sand on my way to the warm turquoise water. As I paddled out past the boats, EVERYONE was pointing and staring. I guess I’m the only person who carries a floatie in their backback. They were so jealous, I could feel it! After the sun went down and I put my camera away, I noticed I didn’t have my room key. SHIT! I left it in my room and locked the padlock. Right? Or was I so excited to get in the water I forgot I was holding it? *Sigh* it was in the sea. Dang!

The village put away the Celine and sprang to life later that evening. My “quiet” seaside room had half a dozen speakers pointed at it from the beach. No big deal – the generators are turned off at midnight. Midnight came and went and there was no relief. Even the cockroach in the bed next to me was restless as were the rats in the floor. Earplugs helped very little so I was relieved when 4am rolled around and everyone went to pass out. Except for the room next to me with the 4 french guys who just didn’t want to stop partying. I pooped on their party. I went to use the (shared) bathroom and gave them the death stare with the hand gesture for “SHHHT”. They left. YAY! So I got a few hours of shuteye before a thunderstorm rolled in.

The last rock face I had to climb (stumble) down. Right after this I twisted my ankle, stubbed my toe and threw my water bottle (which broke).

After the tiny rainstorm, I decided to do the hike over the island to spend the afternoon at Long Beach, a stretch of white sand that is often referred to as the most beautiful beach in SEA. There is a handful of bungalows at the far end and then miles of untouched perfection. Taxi boats and tours will take you there but I thought the hike would be more rewarding. Travel bloggers are always saying how it’s a bit of a tough hike in some spots but when you get to the other side, it is a beauty that cannot be of this world. The trail can be difficult to follow at times but there are flip-flops nailed to trees to follow. Really? how about following the trail of plastic bottles and cigarette butts? Why do people do this?? After hiking up and over and scrambling down a rocky cliff, stubbing my toe on a tree root, twisting my ankle and breaking my water bottle, I was ready for my reward.

There was no reward.

The “Great Reward”. A giant concrete pier being built right where the trail ends. Super!

The beach where the trail came out was bulldozed and they were building a big concrete pier. The white sand had been churned up with red dirt. Disappointing! I trekked along the shore to get far enough away that I wouldn’t hear the sound of machinery. Not possible. I walked for about 20 minutes through tons of garbage (even a full black garbage bag bobbing in the water) and there was no end in sight for all of the construction so I chose a spot with some loungers where a woman was selling cold water and pop in front of a half-finished bungalow. I pulled out my word puzzles and did my best to ignore it. It was late afternoon and one by one, the longtail boats full of tourists started showing up. This is a popular place to watch the sunset so all of the day tours stop here to wait for dark when the bioluminescent plankton are visible. One parked near where I was and the guy asked if I wanted to catch a ride back and see the plankton. Yes! Yes I do!! So he threw some beers in the water and everyone hopped in to swim as the sun dipped to the horizon. But even the sunset was a letdown! No one was really sure if it had even happened yet. I really had high expectations for this “perfect” beach. I can see how it once was but it’s gone now.

My search for tranquility ended here. Long Beach is being rapidly developed.

Once on board the longtail, the bottle of whiskey went around. Seemed a great idea to quaff a bunch of liquor before jumping into the middle of the sea in the dark. But it was only 20% and wasn’t very good. Once we were out far enough and it was completely dark, everyone jumped overboard. When you move in the water, the plankton light up a bright blue, like tiny lights! The water around us was all aglow as we all thrashed about to piss off the plankton!

Free beer and a giant saltwater bathtub! Is this “living”????

The sunset that never really happened. Long Beach, Cambodia May 2016

I wrapped up the evening having a late dinner with 3 Irish girls from the boat and late night hot dog that wasn’t really a hot dog but 3 cocktail wieners fried and put in a bun with a lot of mayo. In the West, we get really uppity about mayo being a cause for food poisoning but in SEA, it’s very commonly used and seldom ‘properly’ stored. However, this mayo didn’t taste like mayo but I was really hungry so I nibbled away at it. It might have been some sort of mystery sauce but I also don’t know what bad mayo would taste like. I went to my room and sat on the edge of the bed to think about the decision I had just made. My tummy was gurgling. I panicked! WHY DID I EAT THAT? I grabbed the bottle of rum and took a couple of shots. Alcohol disinfects so if the germs are still fresh in my belly, the rum would kill them before they can make me sick, right? Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me – this is sound logic! And I woke up feeling fine! Ha!

After waking up alive and refreshed (music shut off at midnight) I was ready to head to Koh Rong Samloen. THIS I was excited for. The main beach at Saracen Bay is, without a doubt, stunning! I had a hard time passing it by, but I have had my eye on Sunset Beach since I started planning this trip. Sunset beach is on the other side of the island and is only accessible by foot or a single boat service once daily from the mainland. There are only 3 basic resorts over there and one of them has tents suspended from the trees. For this, I was willing to do the hike. All 3 resorts are responsible for their own power, there is no wifi and there are no longtails constantly putting about in the bay. Absolute solace!

The “walk” over is about 1km, takes 40 minutes and is doable in flip flops. LIES!!! Naturally, I would choose to do this in the hottest month of the year but I was at least smart enough to wear good shoes, regardless of what the internet says. I had a nice big breakfast for energy and I was ready to hike! I think my bag at this point was over 15kg as I had a bottle of wine and a bottle of rum in there. The clip on my waist strap was broken so I had to tie it and the chest strap was…..missing? I have no idea where that might have gone. I had a piece of rope……I improvised. I had my day bag on my front and a large bottle of water. Determined to maintain a steady pace, I tried to keep my steps rhythmic. I tried to not stop to rest unless I really needed to. The trail was narrow but I pushed on through the trees and the vines, hoping to avoid any lightning sand or flame spurts. Not bad! But then there is the part where the trail disappears and turns into a rocky incline. Shit! It’s ok…I can do this! There was a group of Vietnamese behind me taking their time and I didn’t want them to get ahead of me if I stopped so I pressed on. Sweat was pouring off me so fast, I would have been dryer if I was in the shower. I got dizzy. My stomach churned. I was pushing myself so hard, I was going to barf! But I couldn’t stop – not even to barf or the slow people will get in front of me!

This is one of the beach tents

Beach tent!!

I got to the top and tried to convince my trembling legs to get me down the other side. Slowly, I navigated the slippery rocks as the sweat poured off of me and down them like a waterfall. I was SO relieved to hear the dull buzz of a generator. “I’M….*wheeze**…HERE!”. I collapsed on the patio of a nearby building. I’m not sure where it was or what it was or if it even existed since I don’t recall seeing it again over the next few days. A lady came over to ask what I was looking for. “Sleeping Trees” I puffed. She pointed to a nearby building and said “No. Toilet” What?? No…. I tried again with hand gestures that really didn’t make any sense at all. “Oohhhh…..yes. You go there and ask how to sleep there”…….Right. Thanks?

My first impression of Sleeping Trees was that this was obviously the perfect place for me. A small bar/reception area, an eating area, all kinds of hammocks, and solar panels which means NO GENERATOR! WOO!!! All I could hear was the sea, the 3 people playing cards nearby and the lilty accent of the dreadlocked french fellow behind the counter as he checked me in. He poured me a glass of icy water and asked which tent I would like. I chose the one on the beach in partial shade. The man then informed me that each night at 7:30, they have a family style dinner. It is $5 to join and that night they were having some sort of chicken in cream sauce. He didn’t know what it was called in english. YES! Sign me up!

The tents are triangular and each corner is ratchet strapped to a tree about 5 feet off the ground. There is a hole in the middle so you can lift yourself up into the tent. It was like manually beaming yourself into a bouncy little spaceship. It was a lot easier than it sounds. Under the tent is a beach mat to keep the sand at a minimum and a big steel bowl of water to rinse your feet. For your bag and valuables, there is a big metal lock box on the ground.

The view from under my beach tent

My first order of action was to inflate my floatie and get my butt into the sea. There beach here is amazing!! It’s not the powder white sand of so many other beaches I have seen but it was CLEAN!!! Perhaps partially due to the currents not washing shit ashore, but the resorts there were quite conscious about making sure stuff isn’t dumped on the beach or stashed in the jungle. I think this sort of area tends to attract a different type of tourist so guests are less likely to contribute to the problem. The water was perfect! No creepy crawlies, pokey things or leg ticklers and blissfully quiet. I floated for what felt like a lifetime until I realized my sunblock was failing me. Dammit!

The MOST tranquil and cleanest beach in all of my travels. An absolute privilege to have encountered this spot. Hopefully it will stay this way.

Dinner was EXCELLENT! There are a couple of French fellows that run this place and they send their kitchen staff home in the afternoon and then cook dinner themselves. It was unbelievably delicious AND you don’t get to leave until you are full. Someone mentioned dinner from the night before and we were graced with the leftovers. It was another French dish with chicken and mustard cream sauce. HOLY SHIT!

After dinner I took my bottle of wine to the tree perch near the beach where I settled in next to a little tree light to do some word puzzles. A 10pm, everything was shut down and I was left alone in the dark with only the sounds of the sea to keep me company. I tried to carry on by flashlight but the food coma was winning so I beamed up into my tent and gazed at the BILLIONS of stars. I was so overcome with joy, I considered staying an extra night and cutting a day somewhere else as this was too perfect to not enjoy to the absolute fullest!

There is a reason this is called “Sunset Beach”

The next day was a lazy day of hammocking and snorkeling. Lots more word puzzles, of course. I even had a little nap on the ground under my tent. Then….it happened! A group of people showed up. They were french too so they spent the day hanging around the bar socializing with the managers. Not that there is anything wrong with that but if you weren’t a part f that group and you wanted water, beer, a snack, you basically got completely ignored. I’m not sure what it was they thought I was there for since it clearly wasn’t for the stimulating conversation and I hate to barge in and interrupt. I was hopeful they would just do more than glance at me and give me a chance to ask for what I wanted and be on my way. Back at my perch, hearing the roars of “hoh hoh hoh” laughter coming from the bar, I decided maybe I wouldn’t stay one more day. Early evening, a longtail came rumbling up, spilling a bunch of tourists all over the beach in front of me. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???” I thought as I watched the sun go down in what may have been the most beautiful sunset so far. But I couldn’t take any good pics because the tourists kept walking in front of me. I danced around the noisy group to try to get a pic without any of them in it and then someone took my spot! ARGH! I was frustrated, but then they left.

Seriously….”Sunset Beach” after cropping out the tourists that randomly showed up for these few moments

During dinner, I was the odd one out at my table. At one point one guy said to me “you’re awfully quiet over there. Oh, you must not speak french” And he hoh hoh hoh’d and everyone hoh hoh hoh’d and then dinner was over. They went back to drinking and playing pool and I returned to my tree perch with my tablet and wine. I tried so hard to ignore the rowdy shouting in the background until some drunk guy fumbled his way up the stairs and lay down RIGHT BESIDE ME and passed out. AAARGH!! NO!!! There are a thousand hammocks here and THIS is where he needs to be? Fuck it! I went to my tent to sulk and sleep. The lights from the bar shone directly at my tent, lighting up the mesh from the inside so instead of seeing the stars, I felt I was in a bright white room. The yelling, the laughing, the clack of billiard balls……at 1:30am, I was in tears. I stomped over to the bar and pooped allllll over their party. My voice cracking, I squeaked”it’s 1:30 in the goddamn morning and I came here for peace and quiet! ENOUGH!!!!” Well – THAT shut ’em up. The whole room just stared at me wide-eyed like a bunch of spooked lemurs. A girl stammered out an apology and I stormed off back to my tent.

The beginning of the end. Ol’ Mr. Green Shorts there overdid it too soon and passed out next to me in the tree fort.

I sat there and had a good cry as I listened to the music shut off and the shuffling of people dispersing and the bottles being put away for the night. I was SO DEVASTATED! My paradise – the highlight of my whole trip – RUINED!!!! I tried to relax and enjoy the stars after the lights went out but my heart was pounding in my ears. I tossed and turned all night which can be fun in a trampoline tent, but not when you’re in a bad mood!

The night sky was pulsing with light. Some sort of lightning, I think and dogs were howling inn the distance. I had myself a good think and finally, a restless sleep.

A blast of sunshine to the face is how the next day greeted me. I took my time packing my stuff to check out by noon, even though my boat wasn’t until 3:30pm. When I went to check out, one of the guys was VERY apologetic for the noise. The other asked if I was sure I wanted to leave my tent. Yes, I just want to be done with this so I can get one with my day. He left my tab open should I need any water, food or beers before my boat arrived and locked my bag in a box so I didn’t have to carry it around.

I had lunch and lounged at the resort next door then returned to my favourite spot to wait for the diving boat. The boat toots its whistle when it is near so anyone waiting knows to head to the pier. When the boat arrived, I went to grab my bag and pay my tab only to find yet ANOTHER French guy behind the bar, yapping away with his friends. He knew I was there but refused to acknowledge me. Perhaps because I was such a buzzkill the night before. Perhaps because this is just how it has been here so far. One of his friends said something and motioned in my direction so I said “The boat is here. I need to pay my tab and get my bag” He brought me my bag and diddled around with the computer while still laughing and smoking with his buddies. He handed me my bill as the boat tooted a warning and he said “I sink ze boat iz leaving”. NO SHIT!!!! I handed over some money and watched as sloth-man sloooooooowly tried to figure out how to open the cash box. Fuck it….I left my change and ran for the pier.

Dashing to the pier to catch the Dive Boat. One quick second for a selfie, of course.

The dreadlocked fellow was onboard. I overheard him say he was on his way to Thailand. Maybe that was his going away party I pooped on? I didn’t care. I was mad. I found myself a spot to settle into for the uncomfortable 2.5 hour slow journey back to Sihanoukville. And as the sun went down in another one of its spectacular Southeast Asian performances, I thought…”this is nice”and breathed a sigh of relief to be almost back to the mainland.

As I lay in my tent the previous night, sleepless and deep in thought, I had come to the realization that I had gone halfway around the world in search of a picture-perfect paradise and I had indeed found it. I was overcome with a sense of joy as I thought of all of the reasons I am lucky to have had this experience. The white sand beaches and warm turquoise water are really quite spectacular if you can see past the garbage and ignore the sounds and smells of the longtails and the ferries. But you know what’s better? Home!!!! Paradise is every time I go camping back in BC. I can go damn near anywhere and have peace & quiet. It smells fresh, there is little to no garbage and I can go out on the lake and not have to lock down my campsite. I can drive there safely and alone. Somehow, those beach calendars and society’s general assumption that warmer = better made me take what I have at home for granted. Beautiful beaches, warm water and soaring temperatures are great but they can’t beat the cool clean waters of home. I was instantly excited to get back to BC for some good ol’ camping and kayaking. The water may be cold and the beaches may be rocky but dammit, BC is beautiful and holy shit, am I lucky to live there!

And that is the tale of paradise found. Now I have one night in Sihanoukville then off to Phnom Penh for 2 nights before I wrap up my adventure in Vietnam. This is the most excited and relaxed I have been this whole trip. The looming inevitability of going home has become a welcome thought and I am thrilled about the upcoming campfire adventures this summer! I hope you will all join me!!

The “Nightmare” Bus To Sihanoukville

Amy Kay — Wed, 04 May 2016 16:29:51 +0000

The islands off the coast of Cambodia were intended to be near the beginning of my trip and I was going to give the beaches of Thailand a pass. But as I added more and more time to this adventure, I switched directions and chose to make this part near the end. I’m glad I did. But to get to the islands, one must first travel to the seedy beachfront party city of Sihanoukville.

I mentioned the night bus from Siem Reap to Sihanoukville in my last post. There are plenty of options but depending on what you want and how last minute you decide to book, the decision is sometimes made for you. In all my research, this one company stood out that it should absolutely be avoided at all costs. They have reckless drivers who speed and drive like absolute clowns through the already unsafe roads of Cambodia; they have several sexual assault accusations; they have a long record of accidents and break-downs resulting in theft from belongings left on the bus while waiting for help; and they have been known to pick up hitch-hiking locals along the way resulting in unwanted spooning or elbowing from ranom people sitting in the aisles. And one thing ALL bus companies have in common: absolute nightmare bathroom on board. The trip was 13 hours, straight through.

There are different types of overnight buses. There are regular seat buses, reclining seat buses (like a lazy boy), beds that have a slight angle and beds that lay flat. Mine was a flat style and i was sure to book an upper single so i didn’t have to spoon a stranger. It’s like bunk beds, but on a bus. They make you take your shoes off and give you a plastic bag to keep them in. This made me uneasy about the toilet. I asked about the toilet and the driver said “stop every 2 hours”. Oh neat! Excellent! Off to my bed at 4B.

It was nice!! The pillow looked a little icky but I had my own pillowcase so no big deal. I gave the bed a sniff and it checked out ok. But it was NARROW! OMG! I am 5’8″ and of the “amazon” build. If this was a coffin, I’d be a bit uncomforatable in the afterlife and with my feet almost flat on the divider, I fit perfectly….until we sped up or slowed down. haha! The mattress was comfy enough and once I got settled in with my fleece wrap and my neck pillow, I was snug as a bug. It was only 9pm but they turn out the lights so i decided to just try to sleep. The forst stop was at 10:30pm. I was a bit confused as to what was happending. I thought we broke down. I saw some other buses and realized it was a pee stop. YAY! Wait……no……not yay. Squat toilets, and really ugly ones too! But they had nice hand soap…?

Back on the bus I tried again to sleep. The bus had lights all along the outside so you could see the roadside quite well. I shut my curtain but there was another light like and airplane light that kept obnoxiously flashing. What the hell does a bus need that for? Turns out, it was lightning! I popped a benadryl, pulled back my curtain and watched the whole Cambodian countryside light up every 15-30 seconds. Incredible!!! I drifted off to sleep. The next pee stop was in a city of some sort. 1:30am. I was the only one who partook. The drivers aren’t the friendliest but they are efficient. In my pj’s and no bra, I was hoofing down a city sidewalk to a nearby hotel. The security guard was asleep so I asked “toilet?” Scared the socks off him. Haha! There was a group of Americans walking through the lobby who offered me their bathroom. How nice! Buuuuuut…..a bit weird and I was still in the grip of Benadryl. Heading back to the bus, 3 more had shown up and they all looked the same. My bus was waiting for me and the drivers ran up and shepherded me inside. On the road again! I watched the city go by as we returned to the road. Where the hell *were* we? Couldn’t be Phnom Penh.

Yes…..yes it was Phnom Penh. Unless Mistress Benadryl denied me additional pee-breaks, the next time we stopped was when the bus stalled. It just……stopped. There was a bit of commotion amongst the drivers and many attempts to start the bus. No good. It was still mostly dark, just after 5am and I began to panic a bit. “oh shit! We broke down! We’re all gonna get robbed! AAAAAHHH!!!” and I began preparing my bag of valuables to take with me should we hae to get off the bus. No one else on the bus even stirred until we were suddenly rammed by what felt like another bus!!! And with that, the bus fired right up and drove another 100 feet…..into the bus station. Sooooo, we were supposed to arrive at 9:30am but it was just after 5am. Hmmm…..BUT, I arrived alive, unrobbed, unmolested and had a decent sleep. HOORAY!

In my sleepy haze and still in my pj’s, I subjected myself the barrage of tuk tuk drivers circling like starved vultures. I panicked! It was just barely light out, I had NO place to stay and had expected to have arrived 4 hours later so I could sit in a cafe and plot my next move. A motorbike driver convinced me to hand over my giant backpack and get on the back of his bike and he would take me to a restaurant that was already open. Okee dokee. After seeing what the city is like later in the day, cruising through while the city slept was quite a treat. He dumped me off at a place that promised a buffet. But there was no buffet!!! FML!! They did have wifi but it was slow and the food was good and fairly priced (but they really get you with the coffee!!). After a sunrise and another hour or so, I had farted around with shitty wifi enough to know where I was and what i was doing. I decided to stay the night in Sihanoukville and head to the the islands the next morning. I also decided to have breakfast again. The noodle soup was great but does not do much to fend of the hangrys later on.

I found a cute little guesthouse nearby, Mick & Craigs. They had good reviews on their food and had themed BBQ nights every night. I tried to book but none of the booking sites would load the booking with the shitty wifi. 10am and I decided to walk it and see what I could find. Mick & Craigs was RIGHT THERE! haha! 5 minute walk at the most. I was happily checked in to one of the most charming little rooms with TWO fans!! I loved it. The bed was so comfy I sat on it and took an awesome nap!

For lunch I took the 5 minute walk to Serendipity Beach. It was quiet. Not at all what I expected from all the reviews suggesting it was noisy, dirty and seedy. But, this is beginning of low season so…..

There were few customers but several vendors. one after the other, women approached me offering a mainicure or pedicure while holding a basket of probably never sanitized tools. No, thank you. “Massage?”. No. Then came the bracelet sales and sunglasses. It was unavoidable! Then come the beggars with missing limbs and eyes. It’s awful how many! I didn’t want to give anythig while inside a restaurant but along the boardwalk, there are many unfortunates and this is a good time to get rid of some of those confusing riel notes!

I went on a misson to obtain goods for my trip to the Islands. The internet told me there were few resources available for basic needs and medicine so I got extra bug spray (even though I haven’t really needed it so far), extra sunblock (because so far, I think all sunblock here is out to get me, even the coppertone!) and wine, because the island restaurants probably have severely inflated prices. I also considered an antibiotic for food poisooning since it is extremely common on the islands with their lack of all day electicity, poor toilet/washing facilities and sporadic fresh food delivery.

At the last minute, I realized I would need to apply for a visa to enter Vietnam when I get back. Well now THERES an idea! I darted in and out of travel agencies until I found one that wasnt quoting $10 USD over the actual price. The crew at WOnderful Travel were….well…wonderful. And funny too! But wouldn’t you know it, the Vietnamese Consulate, which is thankfully located in Sihanoukville as opposed to the capital, is CLOSED for a 5 day holiday starting the day after the next. The agent said he would try to get it the next day but having it by the 6th might be a stretch. I was planning to enter Vietnam on the 7th so that would hopefully work out

So with wine and rum on board and 3 malfunctioning sunblocks and 3 bug sprays, I was ready for my Koh Rong Islands Adventure! Oh, and of course a stop at the ATM because the islands are without ATMS!

I was planning to just show up on Koh Rong and find a room but at the last minute, opted to prebook and overpay. Off to the islands! First stop: Koh Tuch on Koh Rong!

Siem Reap: A Drinking City With A Temple Problem

Amy Kay — Tue, 03 May 2016 16:27:50 +0000

As I travel, I write notes on my phone so when I post here, I have points I want to write about. I forgot to save that note. Now I have to remember it while fending off mosquitoes.

A whole lot of beds

Things getting a bit silly on Gender Bender Night!

Kittens at Angkor Wat!

Soup of the day: Tequila

Taco and Margarita $3. Really good

I flew to Siem Ream, Cambodia from Chiang Mai, Thailand via Bangkok on Air Asia. There is ZERO legroom on Air Asia and I’m not exaggerating. If you put your bag under the seat in front of you, you have to get out of your set to retrieve it. Nok Air was by far superior and cheaper but Nok Air doesn’t fly to Cambodia and the connection time was too risky so I ponied up the cash and paid the higher price AND an absurd fee for baggage and an absurd fee for using my credit card. Just under $200 CAD and I was on my way.

The flight was smoother than the turbulent flight to Chiang Mai on Nok Air but still pretty bumpy. Must be Bangkok. But we damn near landed left wing down. I was horrified and there were no nuns this time.

Arrival in Cambodia was different. The airport is really small but very nice! They boot you off on the tarmac since there doesn’t seem to be a lot of planes landing there. The heat from the concrete hits your face like a nuclear blast. Each place I go, I tell myself “it will be cooler. It can’t POSSIBLY get any hotter”. Well….it does. Cambodia is just as smokey as Chiang Mai and Pai. Ashes fall from the sky.

My choice of guesthouse was Okay Guesthouse. It was….Okay. I loved the rooftop bar/restaurant/pool and the pool is why I booked there. The architecture of the building is worth noting. It had such amazing intricacies that made it really beautiful. In Canada, people would pay a hefty sum to stay in a “boutique hotel” such as this. I paid $10/night. I booked a room with a double bed but mentioned in the notes that I was ok with a twin if it meant a quieter area (I was aware of nearby construction). The reception staff were very professional and attentive but did not speak much english which is fine. Through a hilarious series of gestures, we got it all sorted out. I get really annoyed when I read bad reviews on a place because they “don’t speak good english”. Would these folks be upset if they came to Canada to find we don’t speak Khmer? So the young man shows me to my room in a far corner of the building. It has TWO bunkbeds. TWO!!!! I laughed and said “what am I to do with so many beds?” to which he shrugged and said “you choose one” and left. Haha!

The first thing I did was go to the rooftop restaurant for some food. I had been eating disappointing airport food all day and almost got punched out by an old Chinese lady who clearly felt she needed a DQ Blizzard more than I. I was surprised to see how cheap beer is in Cambodia. In Thailand it is ridiculous. Not here. Nope. Party on, Wayne.

I had a snack and decided to go elsewhere for dinner. I went outside and asked a tuk-tuk driver to take me to where the food is. He took me to a rather quiet area but the restaurant was good and the service was excellent. A rarity in SEA. The driver waited for me in his tuk tuk hammock and was airing out his belly when I came out. He took me to the famous Pub Street where I frolicked throughout the streets and markets checking out menus and getting a really cheap foot massage. ***Side note: I don’t know how other people react to massages but I keep getting asked: “lay-deee…..are you OK”. ****

I had a really good taco and then met some cool people and had drinks and laughs all night. This city is ALL about the good times. COmpetitive pricing on foods from around the world and each place trying to lure you in with a drink special cheaper than the next. There are also LOADS of really cheap massage places to help ease the pain of that hangover.

The next day was hot. I went to the pool but it’s really small and there were small children in it. I sat in the shade. No good. I went back to my room and tried to nap. Also no good. Too hot. The ceiling fan was a good 10 feet up so I had to torment my broken toe to get to the top bunk for some breeze. I napped. it was nice but I was bored so I decided to change locations. I know I said I wouldn’t do hostels but the Funky Flashpacker had caught my eye many times. It looked great and was super cheap but…..a PARTY hostel? Me?? Yes…..I went.

After a terrible nights sleep, I was eager to move to the hostel. A poolside party sounded great. WHen the tuk-tuk turned off the main road onto Funky Lane (yep….Funky Lane. Ha!) I could hear the music blasting and the laughter rising above it. It was 11am and my confirmation said check-in was noon. I hoped maybe I could check in a smidge early. No dice. Check in is at 2pm. well……shit. The guy directed me to the bag storage area and then to the pool bar. Okee dokee!

At first, I was quite intimidated. So many people. All splashing about and having fun. What was I thinking? I don’t belong here! I chose a bar stool and a tall dark and shirtless fellow behind the bar was quick to make conversation as he poured me a beer. This place is REALLY casual. Almost all staff were western but the handful of Kehmer staff were quite a riot as well. The bartender sat with me while he took a break and all the other staff were quick to join in on the silly banter. It wasn’t awkward at all! It was almost 3pm when I realized I could have checked in a while ago. I switched to swimsuit mode, got a beer and sat poolside. There was a rousing game of “throw a ball at anyone you want and they have to hit it with their head”. I am the LAST person to participate in something like that but someone grabbed my leg and pulled me in. I admit, it was pretty fun!!

After dinner, I wandered over to reception to see about booking the obligatory Angkor tour. Tom was fairly new to booking but was helpful. He suggested I try to find some cool people to join up with. I did. I tried. But by then it had gotten so late, everyone was half in the bag so I went back to book a solo trip. He was a sweetheart and said he had to work at noon or he would be happy to join me. I ended up booking a shared mini-van tour for the sunrise tour.

The sunrise tour. Generally, I consider myself a morning person, but waking up at 4am ESPECIALLY when you are in a 24 hour party zone, well…….no! My dorm was right under the Skybar where they were having “all you can drink for $5” night. I had no trouble waking up at 4am since that’s when all the drunks started piling into the dorm rooms. Not that I was sleeping anyway.

Cambodia is a bit funny in how the money works. There are 2 currencies here. US dollars and Cambodian Riel. USD is the main currency but they don’t use coins here so you usually get change in Riel (ie: 1000 Riel is 25cents). Bank machines give USD and they give $100 bills unless you take out less than $100 which is stupid if you’re paying huge transaction fees. Also, USD *MUST* be in perfect condition if over $20.

So it’s 5am and I am at the Angkor ticket centre. One day is $20. One day is MORE than enough for me so i get ushered into the $20 line up along with a few hundred others. I slide over one of my freshly dispensed $100 and the lady sneers at it and says “no! We can’t make change. Only smaller” So I argued that this is all the ATMs give and there are thousands of people here there is NO WAY they are all paying in 20’s. She said “no” again. I got a bit uppity. “If a place THIS big won’t take my 100, then who will?” She rolled her eyes and gave me change. Jeebus!!! What the hell?

Everyone piles back into the vans and we are whisked off to the front of Angkor Wat for the chance of a lifetime TO WATCH THE SUNRISE! Well, if the mosquitoes and flies weren’t bad enough, the vendors were. Escaping the vendors is impossible and they do Not take “no” for an answer. Every few minutes someone was tugging on my arm tryig to make me buy a scarf or a painting, or a coffee. I am amazed that vendors are even allowed to be in this area. These are sacred temples, dammit!! AAAAARRGH!!! If the vendors weren’t bad enough, the other tourists were. People shoving and jamming their selfie sticks into evey goddamn photo. It really wasn’t at all realing or peaceful. I was severely disappointed. And the guide said this was NOTHING compared to the busy season. *eyeroll*. The only thing that really changed as the day went on was the temperature. I’m glad I went. It is worth seeing but the amount of people shoving their way in front of EVERYTHING so they can take another friggin’ selfie was unbearable. AND THIS IS THE LOW SEASON!!!!

*side note: To visit some temples, you have to be dressed appropriately. This means men AND women must have their shoulders and knees covered. Hilariously, if your shorts aren’t quite long enough, you may unbutton them and pull them down to cover your knees.*

So by noon, they took all of our overheated and cranky asses back to our hotels. I walked right past the pool party and straight to my air-conditioned dorm where I passed the hell out! I slept through all of the shenanigans (mostly) went out for a bite to eat and then settled back in at the pool bar. Everyone there is SO curious as to how one feels about a day at the temples. I have a feeling that temple enthusiasts don’t tend to stay at this hostel. I had actually planned to take a sleeper bus to Sihanoukville that night but that pesky bar staff convinced me to stay. It was Gender Bender night at Skybar. Well, ok then! I hadn’t actually planned on participating but the saucy fella from the bunk above mine asked if I would like to trade clothes. Moments later, I was at Skybar with a mascara mustache. It was fun for a bit but it got to be a bit difficult to even get a drink and everyone was so rowdy. I went downstairs to find Tom poolside and had a drink there instead. I also met the owner who was suffering a rather serious hoverboard injury. We all had a great chat and after the rowdys all stampeded off to Pub Street, I returned to Skybar where I sat until 3:30am chatting with Ross the Australian (the Rosstralian…..he had NEVER thought of that. haha!) who has a fear of spiders that rivals my own.

Since Skybar was dead, I had a decent sleep. I woke up in time to get ready and check out then do my rounds so everyone could ask me how glad I am I didn’t take the night bus after all. Yes, yes. I had fun…ya bunch of animals! Haha

I booked my bus though reception since online wasn’t an option last minute. There is one bus company in Cambodia that is overall quite a good company OR there is the other one that many are calling to boycott due to a terrifying safety record, poor maintenance as well as MANY accusations of theft and sexual assault, The list is seriously endless. I did NOT want to book this bus but it was all that was available to me last minute and the hostel has a money back guarantee for ANY reason whatsoever. I heard it right from the owner himself.

I did take the night bus, or “hotel bus” as it is called here. Obviously, I lived to tell the story but that will be next time

Pai: The Hammock Life

Amy Kay — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 16:14:28 +0000

After a few glorious days of being lost in Chiang Mai, I decided to head to Pai. i really hadn’t thought about going to Pai but after publicy posting I was in Chainag Mai, the messages and comments started pouring in. “You HAVE to go to Pai”. I guess it’s the place to be.

So relaxed! Unfortunately, the hammock wasn’t all that comfy. It made my butt look and feel like a tray of cinnamon rolls.

The Backpacker’s Survival Kit

Riverside. And no mosquitoes!

So at the last minute, I left my air-conditioned room to seek out a travel agent. The first one I went to pretended to not see me. The second one was eating and just said “full” so I continued. I walked past a tattoo shop that had some travel brochures out front. There was a man cooking food over a small bbq outside. He smiled and asked what I was looking for. Turns out he does tattoos and she is a travel agent. She was happy to book me on the 9am bus to Pai the next morning. However, the price was 2ooB. 200!!!!?????? But….the other places are all selling for 170! I was reluctant at first until I remembered that 30B is just over $1. Haha – I booked it. The lady didn’t have enough change for me so she hopped on her scooter and went to break the bill. I sat with the gentleman and browsed his portfolio over a bit over conversation. Very friendly. Very talented.

The next morning I was picked up right on time and driven to the bus station where we would board a minivan for the duration of the trip. Once inside, I snickered at a sign warning against bringing durian onboard and puking. This route has quite a reputation for making people sick. You are expected to bring your own barf-bag. Splendid! The girl sitting next to me brought Gravol for everyone. There was no way anyone was going to be sick in her presence! Good stuff – I was a bit worried since it was such a small vehicle.

And what a ride it was! I was glad I skipped breakfast. This road was really crazy and the drivers are not shy to pass on a switchback!! But I was having some wonderful conversation with some bus-buddies so I wasn’t really paying attention. The drive takes more than 4 hours and in the last 10 minutes a sudden commotion and in a flash, the girl next to me throws her plastic bag of fruit into the back seat and ducks. I’ve never seen anyone move so fast but thanks to her, the crisis was averted and we were all saved from visiting spew-town. And no, the bus does not stop. You have to sit there and deal with it until the destination is reached.

Gecko hut!

Pai is really a nifty little town but it seems to cater to the hippie westerners and young partiers. It wasn’t particularly loud or rowdy but I did feel the town was lacking in the traditional culture I had sort of expected from a remote town. Though, each evening the food carts set up along the main street with delicious offerings including Chinese food, pasta, pizza, fruit smoothies and Thai food, of course.

My choice of accommodation was a bamboo hut down at the riverside. It was so peaceful. The roof was made of leaves so when there was a breeze, it would gently swirl through the hut. There was a little deck out front with lounge pillows and a hammock! Also, bamboo tables and swings along the river. Neat! There was no shortage of places to relax so I took full advantage. In the mornings, the weird old hippie at the end of the property would sit by the river and play a wooden flute. It was really nice until he overdid it with the wine and weed and began shouting obscenities and tooting his flute really loudly. He was unusual. He also told me I looked like a horse so……

My last night in Thailand.

The afternoons were a bit noisy with new grass roofs being put on the huts but the evenings were silent and I loved sitting on my little porch listening to the music and laughter begin to rise from the town across the river. Oh, and evening is also when the geckos get a bit rowdy and fall from the leafy ceiling. They would just run away and scold me from afar like it was somehow my fault they didn’t stick. Amateurs!

I had a lot of ideas of what I wanted to do in Pai. Waterfalls, hiking, river tubing, elephant feeding, etc. But, it’s the end of the dry season an has been so hot for so long, the waterfalls were reportedly “not really there”. The same for the river. I was staying right there and it looked way too shallow to do much. Hiking in the heat was one thing but hiking in the heat AND dense smoke was not so appealing. The smoke was so thick, the mountains were barely visible. In fact, I fell asleep on my hammock one afternoon and woke up with ash all over me. I decided that was what I would do in Pai – lay in the hammock and collect ash. I ventured out for food and had a fun evening at a small bar but that was it. A party town for some, a chance to do sweet F-all for others. Oh, and the food was all fantastic!

I spent 3 completely chill nights there and then took the vomit-comet back to Chiang Mai. This time, I booked a guesthouse close to the night bazaar so I wouldn’t get friggin’ lost again! It was a good plan. The bazaar was ok but I have found that buying stuff in Thailand isn’t really worth it since most of the trinkets and anything NOT handmade is readily available in dollar stores back home. The one thing I really enjoyed was the food court! There are bales of hay and all sorts of old wooden tables. I listened to the live band, drank a Chang beer, ate khao soi and said my farewells to Thailand. At the guesthouse, I was lulled to sleep by the sweet smell of the frangipani wafting through my room, and the sound of cats screeching right outside my window. All. Night. Long.

Up next: Cambodia! I am flying into Siem Reap to spare myself from having a border-related horror story to share

Chiang Mai: Get Lost!

Amy Kay — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 16:08:12 +0000

I chose the most delightful little corner of the Old City to stay in. So peaceful

Thai cooking class. No coconut or kaffir lime is safe from me now!

The Sunday Night Market extends over several city blocks and through many temple grounds.

It’s burning season. Very dry and smokey.

The city wall and moat. The only reason I’m not still out there wandering.

In a place like Thailand, everything is an adventure even when you aren’t looking for one. I decided I was not willing to take my chances of overpaying for a taxi to the Don Muang Airport in Bangkok so I booked a shared minivan service for 170B. As the van approaches each pickup point, the driver slows down and starts yelling “EH-POAAT” to see who comes a-running. When he sees you, he stops. Reminds me of chasing the ice cream truck as a kid. Once the van was full, we found ourselves racing to the airport, weaving in and out of traffic, cutting people off and blatant disregard for speed limits. It was a good half hour sitting on the verge of a heart attack, everyone in the van silent, trying to act natural but their wide eyes and furrowed brows giving away their fear.

Once inside the airport, I found the check-in desks and 3 long lines. I chose a line and waited my turn. The people behind to me were transporting some sort of seafood. It smelled like some refrigeration might have been helpful. Finally, as it was my turn to go next, the row of desks closed and everyone in the line up got shooed over to the other two lines. WTF!? THere was a lot of people behind me and naturally, they got to the next line up before me. Shit!!! And who comes up behind me? Stinky shrimp guy!! Awesome! I checked my bag and received my boarding pass. Gate 32 at 10:30am. It was 9am so I figured I would find the gate, then sort out some breakfast. All the way down to one end of the airport, I found it. The desk was set up for Nok Air flight to Chiang Mai and there was a small herd of nuns dressed entirely in crisp white. If you’re at all nervous about flying, flying with nuns helps. Super! Off to get some breakfast.

There is a fantastic bakery inside the terminal. After I was done taking pictures of the hilarious foods inside the 7-11, I went to peruse the many goodies at the bakery. I made my selections and headed back to the gate to wait. I was happily browsing Facebook and eating my spinach & cheese pastry when I suddenly realized I was alone. Where was everybody? Where did the nuns go? Where are the signs and the airline personnel? Shit! I packed up my goods and went to find one of those flight information boards. Seems they decided to change the flight to gate 78. WTF? That’s clear across the other side of the airport and they should be boarding soon. As it turns out, Gate 78 is in the basement of the airport and they had already started loading people onto a bus. Once on the bus, we were driven out into a field where we boarded a plane painted to look like a pink bird.

Inside the bright pink bird, the aircraft was brand-spankin’ new. It smelled like a leather store. I settled in with my word puzzles for the one hour flight. Shortly after the turbulent ascent out of Bangkok, the attendants come around and hand out little paper bags. There was a teeny tiny bun and a little cup of water. Better than nothing! Minutes later, they came back to tell me I had booked a “Premium Seat” which comes with a free coffee or tea. Oh, goodie – something to make that extra 400B worth it! I received the TINIEST paper cup, half filled with some instant coffee. Haha! Woo hoo!

The flight was a bit turbulent throughout and with the nifty concept lighting along the ceiling of the plane, I could see it twisting with each bump. And I don’t know if it’s because the plane was so new and it was maybe insulated better but I had a hard time hearing the roar of the engines and every now and again, the plane would dip nose down and I SWEAR it sounded like when things fall from the sky in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. I spent the hour watching the nuns. If they started praying, THEN I would panic.

Thai cooking class. No coconut or kaffir lime is safe from me now!

So after skidding into the Chiang Mai airport on the rear wheels, I collected my bag and went to get a taxi. I hopped onto a songthaew instead and headed to the hostel inside the Old City. I am still making efforts to be more social so I booked a place that received a lot of positive reviews for being a good place to meet people. Of course, I booked a private room with A/C because it’s really fucking hot here. The room is clean….really clean! The a/c is quiet and the bathroom is this bizarre little room located on the balcony. The king size bed looks so damn inviting……..but it’s not. It’s the worst bed I’ve had the displeasure of sleeping on. Even in Bangkok, I woke up covered in ants and that was better than this. Holy shit!

There is an area just outside the walls of the Old City where there is a night bazaar. I thought I would check it out. The hippies at the hostel weren’t much help with directions so I loaded up google maps and took a screenshot. Off I went. For anyone who isn’t familiar, the Old City in Chiang Mai is contained within a large square, surrounded by a moat and the stunning ruins of a brick wall. The night bazaar is outside the wall and down a few blocks. Well….my map didn’t have all the street names, and a lot of the streets are missing signs. I got lost. Holy shit did I ever get lost! I finally decided to keep going left until I found the moat and sure enough, I did. *whew* And on top of that, there was a large gathering of people and food carts blocking the main road. This must be the Night Bazaar! Joy! I perused the goodies but it was crowded and my feet were getting really sore so I pressed on to find my way home. But the Bazaar is on the OTHER side of the moat. I didn’t cross the moat, did I? Pretty sure I didn’t cross the moat. So, how the hell did I get to the other side? My map was useless, the traffic was crazy and I was too cheap to pay for a tuk-tuk to fix my problem. I fought my way across the traffic to get across the moat, only to finally see something familiar……ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!! Dammit! I had never crossed the moat because that wasn’t the Night Bazaar. Jeebus! the familiar sight was a Mexican Food place. So went there. It was weird, but it didn’t suck and the margaritas were ok for $3. But I now understand why so many people are hopelessly in love with Chiang Mai. It is beautiful! Sadly, at this time, it is extremely smokey but it is still a wonderful place to be. There is something different around every corner, its quite clean and the alleys aren’t usually dark or creepy. It’s the perfect place to be lost!

The next day was one I was really looking forward to. The oh-so popular Sunday Night Market. I went early before the crowds and am glad I did because it gets mighty packed! I snacked and sampled my way through multiple city streets and temple grounds. It was really a great experience and a delicious way to see some of the temples. Sadly, I lost my favourite sunglasses and it got difficult to navigate after a bit so I left.

Heading back to my room, the crowd of hostel guests had gathered for the evening in the garden. I slowly strolled by and choked out a greeting in hopes maybe someone would invite me in. No dice. I scurried off to my room for another plan of attack. I decided on a cooking class. That was something I previously feared doing because I would have to talk to people. Now, it was going to happen!

Cooking class was a lot of fun. I did meet people and had a lot of laughs. There was so much food and it was all so good! Definitely a great day! The school picks everyone up and then drops them off after. I had noticed the place was really close to the hostel so I declined the ride back and opted to walk. Of course, I forgot what side of the friggin’ moat I was on and went several blocks in the wrong direction. Haha! But there was just so much to see!! I love being lost in Chiang Mai! There is nothing quite like it. In the evening, there was talk about going to a cabaret or something but I never heard anything from anyone so I spent the evening on a quiet patio planning my trip to Pai and then strolling about with an unusual Italian fellow I had met during dinner.

And that was Chiang Mai. I would have liked more time but with an itinerary as ambitious as mine, there is never enough time and I will say that about each place I visit.

Next up: Pai! Everyone loves Pai

Bangkok: Now THAT’S A Party!

Amy Kay — Sat, 16 Apr 2016 15:32:22 +0000

Stepping out into the crowd. And this was only the beginning!

Covering your beer doesn’t really do much. When you stop to buy one, you are a sitting duck and the crowds will try to drown you. You probably shouldn’t drink the water, but it’s going to happen. Embrace it!

I left Koh Samui on day 1 of Songkran. The Internet is a big fat liar and the staff at the resort were of little help as to how to get to the Nathon Pier for my ferry transfer to Surat Thani. I decided to take my first stab at hailing a songthaew which is a modified pick up truck that operates as a public transit/taxi type thing. I strapped my big pack on my back, said farewell to my comfy little hut and off I went on the next leg of my journey.

When I got to the main road, I could immediately see I was doomed. The street was lined with people hurling buckets of water at any and all who pass by. Every pick-up truck that went by was packed with barrels of water and hoards of people tossing it out as they drove along. I frantically dashed into a bush to secure my electronics in my big pack. It was clear there was no escape. I chose a direction and faced my fate. I was lucky, actually. The first group I encountered saw me shy my way up to receive the soaking. I held out my day bag and let them have at it. They were so happy!! I watched as each songthaew passed me by, crammed with people shouting and soaking. A taxi van pulled up. I asked how much to the pier. He said 600B. NO! Just..NO! I didn’t want to pay more than 200 which was unreasonable for a trip that long in a private car but that’s why I wanted the songthaew. He laughed and said “madam, this is Songkran – the songthaews are busy” so we agreed on 400. The ride was a hoot!! Haha! As we snaked our way through Lamai in the bumper to bumper traffic, the energy was high. The driver was explaining how it was early and that after noon, it would be impassable. Good timing on my part, then. I laughed and giggled all the way to the pier as people of all ages stood roadside with buckets, squirt guns and hoses. No one is safe, not even the motorcycle cops who stopped to receive the soaking and get smeared with white paste. I was bummed I had to leave a day early. This seemed like it would be a lot of fun.

Onward to Bangkok! I took the overnight train. It was inexpensive for a sleeper so I went for it. How nice it would be to be rocked to sleep by the gentle chugging of the train. WRONG! I spent the first hour or so trapped in a train car with half a dozen small children tearing around like animals and climbing all the ladders and jumping seat to seat. Parents didn’t seem to notice. They don’t serve liquor on the train, FYI. The steward came around fairly soon to set up the beds. I was happy to cozy into my little fort for the night. But it was bumpy, shaky, noisy, bright….ack! Not what I had expected at all! The best part was the bathrooms. There was 2 on each car. They were like really old prison bathrooms. One had an ill-fitting seat which does you NO favours on a bumpy train ride, and the other was a squat toilet! That’s right, Ladies and Gentlemen – this was my first time encountering a squat toilet. I tried to avoid it but I think they locked the other one because it was ALWAYS occupied, at all hours of the night. I tried waiting but no one ever came out. So….squat toilet it is, then! As I stood there in the bouncing steel box I stared at the hole in the floor and thought “well, if I’ve learned anything from camping, this is it”. Again, the ride was so rough, it was a challenge. Other than stumbling and tearing my underwear mostly off, I think I did alright!

And then before I knew it, they were serving breakfast and we were almost at Bangkok Station.

I had socialized a bit with a couple of fellas from the bus to Surat Thani. (Yes, I socialized because we were all eating at the same food cart). They were staying in a nearby area to me in Bangkok so we agreed to meet after the train and share a taxi. I had read on the stupid lying internet that it costs about 400-500 baht so I was happy to split that. I think I got off at the wrong spot at the train station because I never did see them. I didn’t see anyone…it was weird. A taxi driver with no teeth offered me a ride for 200. AWESOME!

As he happily dug through his bag of flags so he could wave his Canada flag around and then place it on the dash of his car, I noticed there is a “standard taxi fare” chart on the back seat. Apparently, the ride should have been closer to 125 so I guess I did it wrong, but he did slow down at all the temples and places of royalty and told me about them. Good stuff – saves me a trip later!

As my trip goes on, I am trying to find ways to be a bit more social. The Khao San Road area of Bangkok is a popular haven for backpackers and partiers. I chose a guest house the next street over as the reviews said it was close enough to enjoy Khao San but then you go home to a quieter street. Perfect! Being a major holiday, I’m sure Khao San will be rockin’ but then I leave when I’m done. WRONG!

Nope….that’s not it at all! For Songkran, Khao San and Rambuttri are both blocked to vehicles and have security checkpoints at both ends, an alleyway connects them. I went out at 4pm and joined in the zombie walk to see where everyone was going. Nowhere. They were going nowhere. Once I got out the gates to the main street, I knew I had made a terrible mistake! Partiers shuffling in all directions, going a metre a minute…..the heat and steam coming off of all the people, I started to feel panic. But there is no way out. No one here will care if I start to cry to because I don’t like it. Someone behind me keeps squirting the back of my head. Someone reaches out with their hot hands and places them on my face, leaving behind two smears of some sort of white paste. My toes are cringing at the thought of being stepped on. I keep going.

After about 40 minutes in the zombie shuffle, I was through the security point at Khao San. They had tall stages with pounding music and pretty girls on top with hoses. On both streets, there were massive sound systems and booths set up to get your cheap beer and fill your water gun. As soon as I found the alley back to Rambuttri, I stayed over there. It was easier to move around and was close to my room so I felt better. I bought a beer and decided to “soak up some fun”..haha! It was a lot of fun. I had my waterproof camera out and was challenging people to throw water at me so I could get a good pic. Everyone running around with water guns, laughing like little children. So much music and dancing! This was absolutely one of the highlights of my trip.

Getting soaked!

I’ll tell you a secret, though. There is NO WAY IN HELL I would have walked into that crowd had I not been staying in the middle of it. So I’m really glad I made the decision to stay in a busier area because I would have missed out on the experience of a lifetime. I didn’t even talk to anyone and I still had a blast.

Songkran: day 3. The soaking continues

Today was clean up day. Most businesses remained closed as it is the last day of Songkran so there isn’t much to do. I spent the morning trying to sort out flight and accommodation for Chiang Mai tomorrow and then went exploring on foot. There really wasn’t much. I realize there are some temples nearby but it’s SO hot and nothing is open so the walk to get anywhere wasn’t interesting. I settled in at a little restaurant because they had large Chang beers for 80 baht. SOLD! I went on with planning my week in Chiang Mai and after a bit, the street was alive with water fights! It was a lot more calm – just tourists who hadn’t had enough yet. I wasn’t ready for this so I made it known I had my bag with my tablet & phone so they were mostly good about it. Apparently, they just go straight for your butt, then. Refreshing!

So off to Chiang Mai in the morning. I’m pretty excited for this. Mostly because it should be cooler in the north. Oh, and food. In Bangkok, the street food is ALL pad thai! I wanted a friggen pancake but could only find pad thai, fruit and scorpion-on-a-stick, which I would have tried, but there is no one here to dare me to do it. Haha! Also, I drank a lot of mystery water. Hopefully, my insides stay in.

Koh Samui: Finally, A Coconut! Songkran Begins!

Amy Kay — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:25:48 +0000

I made the decision to head to Samui and stay at the 2nd most touristy beach there. I was hesitant due to people on Tripadvisor complaining it was noisy, dirty and crowded but I didn’t find that at all! Each resort cares for the beach in front and the water is gorgeous! No sea cucumbers or urchins. However, there are lots of signs warning of box jellies and instructions of what to do if you get stung. If you point to the sign and ask a local, they will laugh and tell you it’s not true. No jellies here. Ok! One trip into the water and I’m having a great time until….seaweed touched my leg. Swimtime is over!

Lamai

Aside from the main road running right behind it, this was a peaceful little spot.

I may be down another toe, but at least I got to pet this little cutie

I have been to Mexico 4 times and always said I wanted a coconut, but never did get one. I’ve been here over a week and they are EVERYWHERE and I finally got my coconut. Yay!

The best little beach hut. I slept really well here, but it was HOT!!

I checked into a cute little A-frame bungalow right on the beach. It was perfect! The restaurant on site was excellent and well priced and the shared bathrooms were exceptional! The staff…well….things are different here and as a tourist, you have to roll with it.

Lamai is more than just a beautiful beach, it also has a great little town. It has more restaurants and bars than you can shake a stick at and everyone is offering specials for the upcoming New Year. So many choices! In the middle of the town is a large open square full of Girlie Bars. Conveniently, there is also a small street food market there so you can get goodies then sit and watch. Sex-tourism is a normal thing here, and each to their own. However, it is interesting if you are a people watcher and enjoy street food

Street food! Not to be missed, even with a demon in the belly!

I woke up my first morning here with terrible stomach cramps. Not sure what that was all about but holy crap,it hurt! But I was hungry so I ate soup. Stil hurt. It was still too hot to do too much so I had a swim and a nap. The porch of my hut was perfect and breezy so I threw down a towel, grabbed my pillow and out I went. Some people walked by so I put my legs in the hut. Not sure why but half asleep, it made sense. Haha! Not so good for the back.

In the late afternoon of the second day, I strolled down the beach. So many resorts setting up tables in the sand, covering them with brightly coloured linens and stabbing colourful flags into the sand. This was the eve of Songkran and everyone was gearing up to celebrate. I found myself a nice table at a Mexican restaurant and ordered a Songsam on the rocks. I figured whatever was in my belly could maybe be disinfected with a shot of hard liquor. Well, the answer is ‘no’. The answer also is not spicy paneng curry nor is it mystery-meat street food but the important thing is, I tried.

On my way back to my hut, I stopped at some street markets to find some more comfortable clothing. I didn’t do well in the packing department and the only relief I have had is the blue sarong a nice Japanese girl gave me in Ao Nang as she was leaving and didn’t want to take it with her. A lot of, if not MOST merchants, won’t approach you if you are in their shop. It’s really strange! Near the end of the strip, almost at my hut, I stopped in at a shop. I was drawn in by the cute and friendly cats! I was looking at some skirts and the old lady shouted “100 baht! Songkran sale!”. $4 for a skirt? Excellent! I grabbed a bunch and headed to the change…um….area. Of course, I stubbed my FUCKING TOE!!! AGAIN!!!! The other baby toe. FFS! What is wrong with me? I checked to make sure it was in the correct position and wasnt crunchy. All good. But when I went to try on a skirt, I noticed a dead lizard on the floor surrounded by weird goo. “what IS that?” I wondered but then I noticed my baby toenail sticking straight up and every move I made caused it to spurt Kill Bill style!! Of course, thats when it started to hurt.

I hastily bought the skirt, petted a cat and hobbled off to find a pharmacy. There were some local kids at the corner already with water, soaking everyone passing by. I was hurt and had my bag with me so I hobbled up, held my bag out and they gleefully danced around me, each taking a turn pouring a bucket of water over me, leaving my bag dry. I hobbled up to the pharmacy, drenched, and the guy sold me some iodine and told me to see a doctor to get the nail properly removed. Ugh! FINE!

Back at the hut, I cleaned up my injury and applied the iodine. The problem was, my hut was on the beach, there is no way to avoid getting sand in the wound. I cut away what I could and tried to flick the sand out. It probably would have been ok but my tummy cramps had me tossing and turning so I repeatedly kicked the bamboo ceiling of my A-frame hut. SON OF A BITCH!! Oh, and the water made the dye from my sarong run so my legs were smurf blue!

Sadly, I was only able to spend 2 nights on Samui but I LOVED every minute of it! Well…except for the one where I stubbed my toe. And the one where the seaweed touched me and I thought it was a jellyfish. But other than that, so much fun! But, I’m on the move. Tomorrow, overnight train to Bangkok for the last 2 days of Songkran. Not even gut wrenching pain will keep THIS funseeker down! Whee!!!!

Koh Phangan: Beaches, Sunsets & SPIDERS!!!

Amy Kay — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 15:20:23 +0000

Haad Salad. Just beautiful!

My 3rd and last night on Koh Phangan. This has been a very exciting part of my trip. After the Pirate Party, I cozied into my little bungalow and managed to get under the wrong sheet. there are 2 single beds pushed together, each with a crisp white sheet. There is a large flate sheet pulled tightly over both of those that appears to be intended to keep you from getting body parts wedged between the 2. Whoops! I also have zero clues as to how mosquito nets work. They tie them up to look nice when you get there so it is up to the guest to unfurl the protective veil. Unfurl, I did! But with the fan blowing on it, it was hard to get it to close. I tried to spin it around and used pillows to trap the opening in a less windy directionand then used a series of hair clips to keep it closed. I figured it would do but any mosquito detwrmined enough would find the weak spot. The good news is, I did not receive any bites. The bad news is, I woke up more or less mummy-wrapped in the netting. HOW DO YOU OPERATE THESE THINGS???? It doesn’t help when its a thousand degrees and everyhthing sticks to you.

In my wine cup. Go home, cockroach! You’re drunk!

At war with the beast in the bathroom

So…..breakfast. Let’s talk about breakfast. Since there are so many Westerners here, when you order Western food it is at least double the price of Asian food. A basic bacon and eggs deal would cost me 280B but a Thai omelet is only 80B. What the hell is in a Thai omelet? Well…..I ordered the chicken because chicken and eggs amuses my dark side. But what I DIDN’T order was the spider!! About a 3rd of the way in, a golden crispy-fried spider tumbled out. It was one of the jumping spiders often seen darting around on the ceiling. I don’t know how long I stared at it, mouth full of food, in deep debate as to whether or not I should keep chewing or freak out. The crispy critter was in good shape, not mashed and only his legs were missing from the knee down. Well, I took the end of the knife and I flicked that Kentucky fried-fucker as far as I could and finished my breakfast. A part of me was a bit delirious as I held in a victorious giggle thinking “no one is going to believe this” while part of me continued googling my plan for the day, trying not to think about the horror that had just taken place.

Koh Phangan is a bit similar to Lanta but is a) Busier/touristy and b) They have pork….haha! But there are few vehicles and everyone rents scooters. I spent a good portion of my morning reading horror stories about the scooter scams here on the island and most people were saying “just don’t do it”. I nervously wandered from the bungalows and into the nearby village looking for a rental. EVERYONE has them for rent, just like EVERYONE will do your laundry. I wandered up to a small scooter repair shop that had a few to rent. The young girl offered to let me take one for a test drive so I did. She seemed nice so I took a deep breath and handed over my passport (nervewracking to do but its how they make sure you bring it back….or use it to scam you into costly repairs). 3 whisky bottles of gas and I was off!!

The roads here are terrifying. poorly maintained concrete slabs with a sharp edge – no shoulder. The island has extremely steep hills, but with few cars and most people keeping it under 50km/hr, it’s not TOO bad. There are quite a few more roads on this island and they arent’t well marked so i did get lost a few times. My intention was to see every beach and on the west/north sides, I pretty much did. They’re all beautiful and I feel as if I could have chosen any one and been just as happy as with Haad Chao Phao.

The pictures just don’t clearly show how extremely steep this hill is. How anyone can do this after a full moon party is beyond me! Insanity

The one thing I don’t like so much is how shallow the water is here and there are TONS of spiny urchins and fat gross sea cucumbers. I went to buy some water shoes but bought a floaty instead. I put on my mask and snorkle and floated around checking out all the little critters. You know what? Even 3 feet deep water is terrifying when you can see what’s in it. Lots of colourful fish but some things…..BLAH!!!! And then seaweed touches your leg and it’s game over. Haha!

Upon returning from dinner last night at the Spider Omelet Restaurant, there was a REALLY.BIG.SPIDER in my bathroom sink. We stared each other down for a minute and I decided to try to turn the tap on really fast! Well, he beat me to it and ran down the drain like a flash of spidery lightning! I ran the water for a good long time. I mean, how big are the lungs on these things? Big enough, I guess. he was back again this morning and ready to tango. It was first thing in the morning and I was sweaty, groggy and needed to pee. Ain’t nobody got time for this shit! I tried my previous trick of reaching for the tap. Nope….he was ready for that and made a mad dash out of the sink. The bathrom here is just a big concrete room with a toilet and a sink, The whole thing is a shower so grabbed the shower hose and started spraying. He was so fast! He ran all over everything of mine he could get his creepy littel legs on and I just kept squealing and spraying. The water pressure here sucks and there is no hot water so it’s really not that threatening. He ran over to the toilet side and tried to get on the ceiling so I grabbed the toilet butt-sprayer and hosed him down to the floor. “THIS ISN’T WORKING” I screamed to no one. I grabbed a water bottle and tried to mash him but he made it pretty clear he was going for my face. I needed something longer! A broom handle! Yes!!! I chased him all over – sprayer in one hand and wildly jabbing at him with the broom handle…bashing him as his legs fell off on went down the drain all the while I’m yelling “DIIIIIIE!!!!”. And finally, it was over. I carefully put away the sprayer and the broom, and went on with planning my day. About an hour later, I went back to bathroom only to find the 3 legged terror had dragged itself up out of the drain and halfway to the bedroom before expiring. Determined. Very determined.

The rest of my day was uneventful. My goal to see Haad Rin (Full Moon Party beach) on the far east side of the island was a success. THe roads there are even hairier than on the west side. Its NUTS!! But fun. The beach was out of this world, but the town was weird. It was like Boubon Street had been abandoned. Everything was closed. It was dirty.

On the way back, i thought I would stop at the Tong Sala pier and book a boat to Koh Samui but I couldn’t find the friggen pier. There are travel agents everywhere so I slammed on the brakes and ran into the first one I saw. Her english was ok but her accent was VERY hard to understand so we wrote a lot of notes back and forth. She was a lovely lady and offered bananas and water. She was also the first Thai person I have heard complain about the heat. Boat to Samui, no problem but I also needed to book my train to Bangkok. Before leaving this morning I checked the 12goasia website and could see there were 12 seats left in a second class a/c sleeper for the 14th. But I was uncertain about how to get the tickets since Thai Railways doesn’t do etickets. Travel agents are a godsend here AND they can print train tickets so it made sense to have her book that for me too. But….there are no seats left…AT ALL! She gave me the finger-wag for thinking this was a good idea during a major holiday. haha! I tried to pull up the website from earlier but it was down. She could only get me the 13th or the 16th. I had already booked my hut on Samui for 3 nights but I have lots more beach time in Cambodia so I opted to head north ASAP. I forfeit one night so I’m out a whole $11 there but when you’re traveling and unemployed, $11 is quite a lot to lose. That’s a one hour massage at full price!!! Or a cheap bottle of wine!!! So I signed off on my train booking. She handed me the plate of bananas, said something about digestion and ran down the street to another travel agency. When she returned, she had my tickets. I guess she doesn’t have a printer. Haha! This place is great! I hopped back on my scooter and carried on, only to find that I WAS at the pier. Haha! The sun must have been in my eyes. Duh! There must have been a mad panic of last minute train travelers because when the website was up again, everything was sold out.

Goodbye for now, beautiful sunsets! I’ll see you again in Cambodia

SO after one last happy sunset-float, I am ready to move on. Tomorrow, I’m headed to Samui for 2 last nights of island living before heading far north, in search of relief from this heat! My beach hut on Samui is at a “touristy” beach as I feel it’s time to transition into a more social atmosphere. Let’s see how that goes. Ha!

Ao Nang to Koh Phangan: Oh, Holy Shit!!

Amy Kay — Sat, 09 Apr 2016 15:16:07 +0000

Ao Nang beach. Beautiful, but noisy.

My air-conditioned cube. When they open the curtains in the morning, the view is spectacular

So I left a piece of my heart in Saladan. Someday, I hope to retrieve it. Everyone I have encountered so far has commented that Lanta is an ending point, not a beginning. Well, perfect! That means I must be doing it right.

The Ferry from Saladan to Ao Nang was……well, it was HELL! It was late, it was hot, it smelled SO BAD like mothballs and…..I don’t know – hopelessness? And as it turns out, my uterus was a bit jet lagged so having white shorts and no bathroom required a bit of creativity! Thanks a lot, mother nature! On the plus side, I’m retaining a lot less water so I fit my clothes again. Haha! I still win!

Ao Nang was a transitional point for me. I was reluctant to go due to it being “touristy” but I had to pass through anyway and felt I would kick myself if I didn’t at least visit. I booked a “boxtel” – a hostel with cubes instead of bunks. It has a rooftop lounge which, according to online reviews, “sucks if you want to meet people” SOLD!!! It was sparkly clean, air conditioned and a stone’s throw from the beach. Perfect! In Hindsight, I should have requested a floor cube as their ladders are precarious and my broken piggy was not a fan of those midnight pee breaks!

There was a a young British lady there that LEAPED at me the moment I asked if her internet was working. She was DYING for some kind of contact. We had a lovely chat – we have a lot in common, actually. She ended up changing hostels for something more social. She was nice and didnt make me feel weird with small talk.

The city of Ao Nang is vibrant and alive. I’ve never had so many people try to force me to eat or get a massage! The main road runs between the resorts and the beach so the beaches are wide open for everyone to use and are not crowded with lounge chairs. The only real downside to Ao Nang is the longtail boats. There are so many and they are running ALL DAY!!! They are very loud and there is no getting away from the noise. But there are many wonderful options for food and entertainment.

My intention of this part of the trip was to visit the famous Railay Beach but after going past it on the ferry, I had to ask myself “WHY?” So instead of doing the typical tourist thing and paying 200B to die in the heat at another beach, I opted to get a happy hour massage for 100B and die in the heat of the beach in front of me. At the far end of the beach, there is the Monkey Trail. Precarious wooden steps that go up and over the rock face to a quiet beach with a fancy resort. There were no other people here (there also were no monkeys!). It was a nice little hike but again, those damn longtail boats!!!!

My happy little hut on Haad Chao Phao, Koh Phangan

I rewarded myself with a short nap in my air conditioned cube as I plotted dinner and my next move.

My next move is Koh Phangan. The natural order seems to be Samui, Phangan then Tao but what the hell do I care about natural order? PFFT! After carefully googling each beach, I found “the one”. Haad Chao Phao on the west side which offers a small white sand beach, tranquil emerald water and affordable beach bungalows! The second my finger clicked “confirm booking” I was overwhelmed with relief. This was my big “oh holy shit” moment. I finally felt I was in my groove. Lanta was a nice calm starting point, Ao Nang was the hustle and bustle I needed to perk up and Phangan is where I finally start to relax and enjoy!

After a long day of traveling on the worlds bounciest bus and very choppy seas, I was happily checked into my hut. It is PERFECT! Complete with a mosquito net and a lizard roommate!

Given the amount of hippies and vegetarian restaurants in this area, I was surprised to hear the throbbing bass of deep house music coming from the beach. THere is a pirate bar nestled in the rocks and tonight just happened to be “Pirate’s Night”. At first, there were only a couple other people and an itchy dog. I sat in a little corner looking out at the squid boats and their bright green lights and had myself a little cry. Well it’s about damn time!!!! My lack of emotion until this point was becoming a concern. Glad I finally got that sorted out. Ha!

I wandered off for a bit and when I came back, the party was in full swing. Still, only maybe 60 people but everyone was having a great time. I danced a bit, had a couple of drinks and not a single person tried to talk to me. Perfect! No creepers! And my little toe suffered no damage int he soft sand. So now I am sitting on the beach in front of my hut madly typing my experience and contemplating whether or not I will stay and explore this island more or move on to the next.

This beach is all mine right now. *bliss*