Three years and one month ago, I had a business meeting the summer I visited Kamloops before returning to Mexico indefinitely.  I sat across from this energetic man who himself was full of entrepreneurial fire and excited for me to be experiencing the “time-freedom” I had created for myself with my online business.  No scheduled work days, the ability to travel and work, and the best part: no waiting an entire year for that long-awaited 2 week vacation!!

“I always say to create a life you don’t need a vacation from,” he said. “That’s what you’re doing!”

That, I was.

Little did I know at that moment, I was speaking to the man who would soon steal my heart and bring me back from Mexico for a lifetime of love, laughs and O-Kay adventures.  We both work hard, and even so, every day is truly like a vacation. We have so many irons in just as many fires and there are surprises around every corner.  You really never know what you’re gonna get with Johnny O!

And here we are – almost 3 years of wild weekend adventures and a couple of trips to Vegas has brought us to this new and exciting trip.

NEWFOUNDLAND!

Yes, that’s right. We are going to the most easterly point of our beautiful country and we are STOKED!!!

It feels a bit weird – the anticipation of boarding a flight after so long.  The last time we flew was to Vegas right at the peak of the first COVID lockdown.  At that time, over a year and a half ago, travelling during the pandemic was particularly thrilling.  Everything was still such a mystery and no one knew what to expect. The great city of Las Vegas was shutting down right in front of our eyes, It was so surreal!

Since then, we have been waiting for the opportunity to travel, now realizing how much we previously took the ability to do so for granted.

The thrill of this trip has been building up over 10 months of uncertainty, and here we are!

So why the anticipation of a fall trip to Newfoundland?  I’m so glad you asked!

2 years ago, John was visiting NL with his family and drove by a tiny house in Petty Harbour  with a For Sale sign in the window.  He waffled on the idea of buying it…because, why not?  But with a number of other things on his plate, he decided against it.

Fast forward to this last December and he said “I wonder what’s for sale in Petty Harbour” and sure enough that house was back on the market. For shits and giggles, he threw in an offer for the house with everything inside included.  It was a swift negotiation period and then *BAM* – Newfoundland house!

But in the middle of a global pandemic when domestic travel is near impossible, we have been waiting patiently.  The time allowed for some exterior renovations to be done, just in time for our arrival!

So here we come, Newfoundland!  We are picking up John’s two sons and the 4 of us are flying out of Vancouver late tonight, and tomorrow we will be givin ‘er bickies in beautiful St John’s.

For those who might recall, I left my amusingly single life in Mexico to follow my heart to my hometown.  It’s been over 2 years since the big move, and life has been a heck of a ride – just now I’m not just “me”, but also a “we”.

Right now, I’m at one of my favourite spots along one of my favourite hiking trails.  I’ve chosen this spot because it is, and always has been, a place of great reflection.  I have been here countless times in attempt to solve the riddles of my reserved yet reckless heart.

I’m hunkered down at the river’s edge with a rather extensive picnic. The leaves are giving the sun a glimpse of my whereabouts, tiny moving windows of warmth on my otherwise shady perch. The smell of cold water & wild roses is grounding, like a gravitational pull, the scent stirring up so many memories. But this time I’m not seeking answers.  This time I’m simply here because it’s exactly where I’d like to be at this moment.  Right here, there is nowhere I need to be, no one I need to talk to, and nothing I need to do. Right here, all 5 senses are tingling with delight (Seriously!  You should see this picnic!)

Moving back to Canada to be with the one I love promised to be the greatest adventure yet!  It is a story without an end, but it isn’t my story alone to share.  In being conscious of the one with whom I share my life, I haven’t been keeping up with my love for documenting our wild & wonderful times, and I haven’t really had a lot of my own.

So, this weekend, I chose to take a step back from the I that is “we”, and reconnect with the I that is “me”.

While the fun has really been non-stop from the beginning, I find this to be an appropriate time to begin sharing again.  Covid was certainly no rain on our parade but it has given way for desires other than coconuts.

However, there are and will be, plenty of campfires, as well as fish & chips, icebergs and Screech.  Definitely some bikes in there. Probably a lot of other rad stuff too.

And now, with my Love’s blessing, I present to you: Campfires & Coconuts 2.0: The O-Kay Adventures, featuring Johnny O & Amy Kay.

I have been mired in a long and far too drawn-out court case with an ex-employer and after the trial, I had to wait until the 26th for the verdict, which I was granted attendance by phone, thankfully.

I won and did so without question.  And with that, I was gleefully on the first leg of my journey.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day at the lake.  The lake where I spent my summer living in a small trailer on my parent’s property.  The lake which I call “home”, no matter where I am.

Mom had gone into town early that day, and when I left, Dad gifted me a bottle of wine from the top-shelf Winiski Collection.  I was sad to leave, especially on a perfect day, but the most grand adventure was ahead of me.

As expected, I did leave a bit later than I had planned, but still had enough time to take the cats to get their vet exam and health certificates, as well as a quick visit with a friend.

Good thing I only planned to get as far as the border at Osoyoos!!  The vet’s office was quite busy that day, and my visit went a bit late because I miscalculated the coffee shop’s location. Haha!  

Feelin like a million bucks, I rolled into Osoyoos around 10pm, found a rather quaint motel that cost WAY more than I expected, drank some wine, then went to sleep.

Wait – that last part is a lie.  There was no such thing as “‘sleep”.  Nope. Both cats paced and meowed

ALL

NIGHT

LONG!

Bubba was even so kind as to walk over my pillow a few times, stomping on my hair and dragging his primordial pouch across my face.  The bed was uncomfortable anyway. Early start the next day.

Cats & gear back in the car and I was off to get Canadian cash (for what reason, I don’t know), a Lottomax ticket, and a Tim Horton’s coffee.

For those who know me, are thinking “But coffee gives you B.O.!” – Yes, it did, but I have reason to believe that might not be an issue anymore (read: I stink no matter what – LOL!).  Still a tea-girl, just had to try a Timmy’s after all this time before leaving Canada for an extended absence.

At the USA border, I had the most pleasant and chipper border guard!  She scanned my passport and asked if she could take a quick look as she waited to find out if I needed to pull ahead for a full search.  

SURE!

Now let me tell you – Milton was packed to the TITS!  And I have become quite good at maximizing space! The lovely lady opened one door at a time and placed her hand on a box or bag and inquired as to what was inside.

We were on a roll!  I felt like I was on a gameshow and was about to win a prize!

When she got to the roofrack, she asked about the big plastic covered roll to which I gleefully informed her it was a lime-green shag rug!!

She kind of fumbled with that.  Not sure if it was judgement or envy – probably envy.  LOL!

No further inspection required and I was off to Montana!!

Now let me start now by warning you – doing this route in fall is quite possibly one of the most spectacular trips I have ever done.  So be prepared for a lot of exuberant descriptions of it!

My first stop was in Heron, MT.  I was invited to stay with some friends I met on a flight to Mexico a few years ago.  We had such a great time on that flight that we stayed in touch and it was so exciting to get to see them and their beautiful log home!

Once over the border and through Tonasket, I had the first of many “OH HOLY SHIT” moments. Maybe it was the thrill of being on my way since the area is really not all that different than what I’m used to.

I was unable to connect my Mexican phone to any USA networks, so when I stopped in Republic for a nap, I had no way to get ahold of my hosts to inform them of the delay.

Ok – again, the drive was just amazing!  Not a lot of traffic, lots of weird little towns that seem so entirely unlike the ones in Canada.  Driving in the USA really does feel like driving in a Hollywood movie.

Once I reached Sandpoint, Idaho I was about 45 minutes from my friend’s house.  I somehow had cell service there, which was more of a treat than the chicken McNuggets I also had, so I was able to call my hosts for directions.  Super!

I should have asked for an address for Google Maps.  While the directions were good, I failed to notice, and therefore mention, that I had already driven through Sandpoint, so I got back on the highway and started driving in what I thought was the right direction.

Would you believe I drove 45 minutes in the WRONG DIRECTION???

I had ablsolutely no clue I was heading straight North until I saw a sign for the Canadian border.  Haha! I had no cell service, but had thankfully already loaded google maps for Heron (no, I wasn’t using it because I didn’t think I could possibly get lost) but I had no way of contacting my friends to tell them I fucked up and would be over an hour later than planned.

It felt so good to have arrived, FINALLY, and was greeted with hugs, cold beers and a lovely backyard fire with the most stunning background of nature and sky.

After a wonderful visit, a comfy sleep, and a hearty breakfast, I was back on the road for the 7 hour drive to the Yellowstone border, with a small detour along the way.

Gardiner, MT is a really nifty little town – it’s very rustic and rich with historical charm.  Still no damn cell service, though!! I had hoped that being such a major destination, there would be cell service near the park.

Nope!

Good thing I planned for this and took screenshots of directions to some free campsites near there.

Now THAT’S something you don’t see in BC – free campsites that are easy to access, right outside of town AND that have plenty of spots right at the gates of a National Park!!!?!??  WOW!

It was late, it was dark and I was beside myself with excitement being so close to actaully finally seeing Yellowstone Park. I needed to find of these spots to settle in for the night.

Unfortunately, after driving up the hill to investigate these little gems of campgrounds – I found both too be just too dark and creepy for my comfort.  Great little spots, but in bear country and without other campers, I decided to pass. I went back down to a little pullout near the town. There were 2 RV’s there so I opted to camp there in the car.

Car camping isn’t exactly new for me, but camping in a car that is crammed full plus 2 cats is whole other kinda challenge – especially trying to arrange things without a cat escaping into the night!

I got all figured out, settled in, cats fed, wine-in-hand and a tiny movie on my phone to watch.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – car camping is all fun & games until someone craps in the litter box.  Yeah – that does make things a bit more challenging, especially with Bubba Chunks and his OCD about scratching in the litterbox for 5 minutes after and somehow in that time, never actually covering his shit!

I woke up to sub-zero temperatures after a surprisingly long sleep – possibly due to early onset starvation because planning or food isn’t my strong suit,.  Another challenge – it’s a lot harder to discreetly get changed on the side of the road in the daylight. And peeing just ain’t gonna happen!

A quick stop at a gas station for a quick snack and I was off to check Yellowstone off my bucket-list, and this is just the beginning! 

I have already driven almost 4000kms, and have 2000 more ahead of me, and what an adventure it has been!

I will do my best to describe my journey to you, but really, it needs to be experienced.  

Let me start by saying I am well aware I experience life differently than most.  I have no kids, no partner, and I work online so ‘home’ is wherever I am.

I’m not special, extraordinary, nor brave.  I just made different choices, though not always because I wanted to, and here I am later on in life – just rolling with the punches, and flying by the seat of my pants.

Most women choose a family.  They find a partner, have kids, go to Little League and occasionally sneak away for a few drinks with other moms.  This was what I wanted when I was younger – well, it was what I thought I wanted because I was really just afraid of being alone.  That ship has sailed and I am glad it did. I still choose family, but not in the sense of creating one. I’m wonderfully blessed with the one I came from and my current lifestyle caters to that.  I also have a network of incredible friends (you know who you are) so being lonely isn’t something that scares me anymore.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a void in my soul that needs filling.  I still need something rewarding to add substance to my life, and for me that is adventure! I’m pretty sure it’s in my DNA, but I was never really aware of it until 2014 when I started camping alone in order to escape the soul-sucking monotony of the ol’ big-city daily grind, as well as needing time away from the most twisted relationship I’ve ever been in.

In only these times, just chillin’ with my tent & journals, was I truly at peace.  

It was in these times I was able to find relief from the absurdity of the relationship I was in.  

It was in these times I was able to talk myself through the bizarre co-dependent relationship I had with my job.  

It was in these times I was able to give myself the courage to be more than just belong to someone.

For the first time in my life, I became truly independent.

While moms are getting handmade crafts from their kindergarteners, having princess or superhero-themed birthday parties, and tucking their loved ones in at night, I am on a constant search for the next experience that will offer some sort of fulfillment.  The uncertainty is daunting, but also thrilling.

So now we have arrived at my point, though I am sure I can talk right past it into the “actual” point. Haha! **EDIT:  I totally do!**

I am a single, independent, 40-year-old woman.  In the last 3 years, I have truly been able to experience my own life without being under the thumb of someone else, nor feeling like I needed to be.  

I have street smarts.  

I make mistakes, but I am not dumb.  

I am strong.

I am resourceful.

I work well under pressure.  

Stress for me is normal and manageable.

I am happy.

I am whole.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s wonderful to be loved and cared about, but being doubted on these hard-earned traits makes these adventures difficult to share. I like to update those who are following my story, but it’s not so much fun to have my most incredible life experiences met with fear, disappointment, doubt, and virtual finger-wags.

Just because YOU wouldn’t do it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or necessarily dangerous. Yes, the world can seem like a scary place, but take a step back from your TV and you will see it’s also very beautiful. I do my research and I follow my gut.

I invite you to consider these questions:

If I was with my boyfriend or husband (LOL!), would you be saying “WOW…looks like fun, you two”  or..  “Ohhh…that’s just too scary. I’m SO worried about you BOTH”

Or

If I was with a female friend, would you be thrilled to follow our adventure?  Or terrified we’d be Thelma & Louise-ing our way across the country?

What if I was a man?

What if I was 50 instead of 40?

Does the fact I don’t have a partner and children make me seem “too young”? Or somehow devoid of responsible behaviour?

Is there really safety in numbers, or is it safety with a man?

It shouldn’t matter.

We are all human.  Not all humans are good people, and not all are cut out for adventure, but those who are shouldn’t hold back because of the projected fears of those who made different choices.

Sure, I’m far from my hometown – but does that make the places I travel to any more dangerous?  

This past winter, in a bizarre mystery, a young man literally vanished without a trace from a busy but isolated ski village near my hometown.

If it could happen to a young man there, it could happen to anyone anywhere.

The point is, you just never know.  We don’t get to know what will happen next.

When we become accustomed to our surroundings, we tend to become complacent and let our guard down.  It is just so familiar, and nothing bad ever happens (or at least not to us or anyone we know), so we forget that anything is possible.  

When travelling, hiking, or camping, I am well aware of my unfamiliar surroundings, well aware that I am out in the wild, or in a city where I know very little about the local happenings so I am, therefore, prepared.

When in my most familiar places, I am generally not prepared for wildlife, chainsaw-wielding psychopaths, muggers or kidnappers, so to me that is where the greater risk lies.  I also still do nothing about it other than keeping my keys handy, having a location on the nearest fire-poker, and ensuring none of my limbs hang over the edge of my bed at night.

So please join me here, and follow along with my journey, not just to Mexico, but in life.  I welcome and appreciate your comments and shared stories, but please refrain from projecting your own fears onto me.  If I stop enjoying life to the fullest because of other people’s unfounded concerns, then that would be the realization of my own greatest fear.

Well….other than spiders.

Annnnnnd here is where I talk past my point! Haha!

If I commented on every one of your fun Facebook posts about which species of spiders were in that area, how many and how dangerous, and how risky I *think* it is with zero experience of my own, it wouldn’t sound very supportive of your strength, life-skills, and planning, and would probably make me seem like a Debbie-Downer just raining all over your parade.  If there were dangerous critters in the area you chose to visit, perhaps being experienced, you already know.

Does the projection of my fear make you feel any better, or any more fearful about spiders?  Are you grateful for my inability to accept spiders? Is it valuable to you? Probably not, but at least I can say “I told you so” when one finally kills you

So at 40, I’m really just getting started!  It only gets better from here. But like the skilled mountaineers on Everest, there are no guarantees, and my soul is thriving.

Moving forward, I would encourage everyone to take a step back from the media. Don’t let the TV or the internet tell you how to feel.  Follow your heart. Follow your soul. Wherever it takes you is where you’re meant to be <3

Either take the risk or accept the mundane.

You might still get bitten, but you also might not…

A music festival I used to frequent back in my days of excessive drinking and recreational drug use.  My first year, back in 2005, there was a running quest for the “rabbit hole”.  Whether or not it does or ever existed is an ongoing debate.  Maybe it’s real; maybe it’s just in your own mind.  Either way, I found it.

I’ve changed a lot since then.  My last time on “the farm” was 2011, and up until this past winter, I never thought I would be back.

But something in my life had shifted.  Like I found something I didn’t know I had lost. Something opened up inside and a new appreciation of music sprang forth and suddenly, I felt like dancing!

OK, maybe it was just my Spotify subscription paired with an open floor plan.  But whatever it was, I frequently imagined myself back on the dancefloor this summer.  I mean, I work online, after all, so I can kinda do what I want and not have to worry about how I use my vacation time. That’s why I do what I do

 

Returning to BC after a winter in Mexico was exciting!  I love BC & I love Mexico. I truly get the best of both worlds.  My living situation landed me in a 19′ trailer on my parent’s property which wasn’t exactly ideal for any of us but it was just how it worked out.  The lake is my favourite place in the world, so living there for 5 months should be a dream come true.  Except I’m 40 and we live well over an hour from town. (read: cabin fever!)

It doesn’t suck, but it’s not how I imagined it would be either.  While I am known to really quite prefer being alone, living with my parents and so far from town and the general public feels like a roundhouse-kick to my independence. The point is, being devoid of pretty much any possibility of a social situation, combined with work not picking up as much as I had hoped, combined with the constant disappointment from that goddamn lemon, made for a summer without any magic.  I always say it’s best to have low expectations in order to avoid disappointment, but I’m only a nihilist on the outside.  It’s easier to let people think I am.  It’s a protective layer that keeps me real when I’m actually just a pulsating ball of anxiety & fear on the inside.

This story begins with the realization that no matter how carefully you shelter your heart, there are shallow, self-serving people out there who will find a way in. And being an honest person makes one a target for dishonest people – liars, cheaters, narcissists, sociopaths, anyone with more ego than soul. They are lurking in the shadows, salivating, waiting to cash in on your moment of weakness. After a while, you think you can tell when you’re dealing with a complete asshole, but they can be sneaky-sneaky, and I failed again.

After 5 years almost entirely devoid of any sort of intimate relationship or romantic connection (yeah, TMI but very relevant to this whole story), and 2.5 of those with my nihilistic approach to avoiding feelings altogether, the knee-jerk reaction to this major disappointment was to scurry back into my closely guarded “feelings-fort”, lock the door, and throw the key into the ocean.  But you know what?  Life is short.  Life is really fucking short! I think it’s easy to forget that there are no do-overs, and Hollywood has distorted our perception of reality on that.

So I figured it was time to be proactive.  I’ve got plenty of time to be dead later, but while I’m above ground, I’d like to be alive, not just existing waiting for life to start happening.  No one is 6 ft under thinking “Gee…I’m sure glad I always made the most responsible decision” or “thank goodness I always did what I thought other people wanted so they wouldn’t judge me”, or “Yes, I made the right decision living in fear of being hurt.  At least they buried me with my cats…JOY”.

The first step was to realize that there was no way I could have created a different outcome in this recent “event” of the heart.  I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I could have done to be a better person, how else I could have catered to the other’s needs, maybe I wasn’t attractive enough or interesting enough, wracking my brain to figure out what I had done SO wrong, that I  deserved to be lied to…over and over and over. The truth is, the only thing I needed to change was how hurt I was going to allow myself to be over someone else’s shallow behaviour. I was basing my self-worth on whether or not I was “good enough” for one of the lowest life forms: The liar/cheater.

The second step was to look at the big picture and come up with a long-term plan.  That meant realizing it wasn’t in the cards to come back to BC next summer. I have 2 cats, and finding a rental of ANY kind is damn near impossible, but throw in some pets and ask for a 5-month lease and you can pretty much forget it.  Believe it or not, I thought I would just hang out in the USA for summer and see if there is a better chance of finding summer accommodations.  But then I thought, if I get my shit together and stop moping, I could qualify for a temporary residency in Mexico which would open up a whole new world of possibilities!

The third step was to push myself every minute of every day to not be so depressed and to think positive.  It’s hard, but if it were easy, everyone would be doing it, and the world would be a very different place.

The fourth step was action!  Nothing was going how I had planned.  So what?  Make a different plan!  It’s wonderful to have such freedom of choice.  Sometimes, feeling like you’re getting a shit-kicking from life can be the all the inspiration you need.  It was for me.

The fifth step was to remember that the universe will always provide the answers, but you have to listen, especially when it isn’t giving the answers you want to hear.

So the plan was to go for a drive.  Partly because driving is an amazing therapy for me. Partly because I needed to get out in the world and interact with other humans in a natural environment.  Partly to network with business owners in order to gain new clients.  Partly because I needed to infuse some sort of magic into this summer & make some memories.  There is no excuse to live in a place as amazing as BC and NOT have any good stories to tell!

 

The timing of the trip would land on the week of Shambhala.  At first, I thought about which route would be best to avoid it and any traffic from it.  But then I thought…..what if I went?  I could buy a day pass for Sunday for $160, which is out of my budget, but with a future of such uncertainty, I chose to live in the moment!  This trip is to address a lot of feelings, not just recent, but old ones too.  Could I just go all by myself and still expect to have a good time?  Um…fuck yes, I could!  I’ll let you know how that goes.  It’s only 6:30pm.

And with that, I think it’s time to go.  The farm is “waking up” for the legendary blow-out of Sunday night.  THIS is why I am here.  Time to go shake out the cobwebs!

Thankfully, Cathy & Richard took really good care of me.  I needed not just the sleep, but the time to take a step back from everything and just really enjoy the company of friends.  I’d been on autopilot for weeks, it seemed, and this was some much needed down-time.  The cats were also really enjoying a break from the road.  With a beautiful yard, safely fenced to keep cats in and other critters out, I think they were quite happy there.  I did feel a shred of guilt taking them away from this kitty-cat utopia, but they had accepted their fate days before and continued to travel well.

My hosts were not only absolutely amazing whilst I was in their home, but they also packed me a little care package for the drive…..homemade muffins, some dates, and a nice big apple!  Screw you, Wendy’s!!  I don’t need your stupid salads anymore!!!

I quickly returned to autopilot mode as I sped past fields of saguaros, heading for the Mexican border!

What to expect at the border: Contrary to bringing pets into the USA, Mexico requires the animal be vaccinated against rabies a minimum of 30 days prior to crossing, and a vet-issued Certificate Of Health which is valid for 10 days before crossing.  I was well prepared and ready to show ‘em my pair of kitties!

Through internet research and forums, I was well aware that it was often recommended to cross at Nogales using the Mariposa truck crossing.  Seemed a bit odd to cross at a truck crossing in a small SUV, but I know better than to argue with the internet. HA!

The truck crossing is nowhere NEAR the regular crossing….like a few kilometres away so it felt totally wrong, but I followed the signs and finally, another car.

There are a bunch of lanes with transport trucks all lined up, waiting for the green light so they can inch ahead through the border.  I followed the other car through the far left lane where the booth was closed, so I just breezed right on through.

“That was weird” I said to no-one.

Next up was a stop sign and a big sign stating that “all vehicle are to stop here and wait for an officer”.  I stopped.  There was no one there, but I’m in a foreign country, so Imma gonna go ahead and obey the rules.

A couple of cars blow past me giving me side-eye.

Huh…..maybe there is just no one here.  So off I go.

So….That was it?  I passed?  No one wanted to look at my cats or take away the apple I had in my lunch?  I was a bit disappointed that I had everything in order, but didn’t see a single border guard or customs officer or anyone!

A giddy feeling swept over me as I saw the speed limits change from miles to kilometres and the little shacks lining the highway, fresh laundry on lines from house to house…

HOLY SHIT!  I JUST DROVE TO MEXICO!

A few kms up, there is a fenced-in area with people re-packing their cars.  I get funnelled into a single lane behind some other cars.  There is a detector of some sort that you drive through and wouldn’t you know it, I get the red light of doom!  Complete with screaming alarms!

AWESOME!

But I’m SUPER PREPARED! So I proudly get my papers all ready and pull up to the officer waiting for me.  She asks if she can open the rear door.  I said “Yes, but everything might fall out”  She gives me permission to get out and assist.  She starts with the rear passenger door.  The litter box is in the back seat and the cats are sleeping on the floor, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

She opens the rear door and 6 tins of cat food tumble out and start rolling away.  We both go racing after them.  She helps me gather them but STILL doesn’t ask to see my cats.  WTF?  BUT THEY’RE SO CUTE!  And this paperwork cost me a lot!  Oh well, her loss.

After a brief lesson about the cosmetic uses of coconut oil, I am back on the road.  Next stop is KM 21 where I have to stop to get my tourist visa and Temporary Import Permit for my car.  She assured me I couldn’t miss it.  It’s at km 21 down the road.  Duh!  OK!

Barely even out of first gear and I’m funnelled again through a booth.  It’s a toll booth!!  Right there!  Jeepers! And the only papers they wanted to see were pesos!

OK….NOW I’m on the road.

So I check my odometer and am ready for KM 21.  Can’t miss it, right?  Even the road has a small sign for each KM as you go.  This is idiot proof!

Sooooo……. I totally missed KM 21!

SHIT!

I wasn’t really sure what it was I had passed…it only had a sign indicating a parking lot for getting vehicle permits.  No lanes, or anything.  Very informal looking!

I didn’t want to appear clueless to anyone who might have been watching, so I calmly pulled into the OXXO and got out, hoping to get a better look at what the parking lot was all about. I wet into the OXXO, there was no one really in there….clerk seemed busy stocking so I had a quick look around and left.

2 u-turns later, I was in the right spot!  Really strange that you have to park and go INTO a building to do official crossing-the-border stuff.  No lineups (thankfully!) so a quick stop at the immigration desk and then to the Copias booth for..well….copies of car registration, driver’s licence and passport, the then to the Banjercito for payments and permits and more permits and more payments.

Almost 3pm and Google Maps figures I should arrive around 5:30pm.  Later than I planned, yes, but not by much.

The highway is under construction so speed limit is 60km/h.  Not wanting to break any rules, I set the cruise control and puttered my way through wearing a big stupid grin,  eating a nice juicy apple, while everyone else zipped by.

Highway construction here makes no sense.  A couple hundred KM’s is under construction and is all dug up, but no one working on it because there are only so many workers….and a couple hundred KMS is a LONG stretch.  So the speed limit the entire way is 60 kms/h….except the spots that go to 40km/h for no apparent reason….and a few spots it’s 80km/h for about half a KM and then it’s 60 again.  Speed limits here are exhausting!

Flaggers have actual flags instead of signs.  Some of them aren’t even flags, it’s a plastic bag or some other random orange/pink/red thing on a stick.  I have NO idea what they mean!!!  I’m gently rolling through these areas and am being frantically flagged at….I have no clue what I’m supposed to do, but no one yelled at me, so I guess I did ok?  Haha!

The first city I drove through was Santa Ana.  My first real experience of driving normally while everyone around me just did whatever.  I felt like a bad driver for being a good driver.  My paranoia of being pulled over prevailed and I politely puttered on.

The highway really opens up after Santa Ana.  A few of the legendary “where the hell did THAT come from” potholes and then smooooooooth sailing to Hermosillo.

There. Is. NOTHING out there in the Mexican desert.  I had to wonder what happens if you have car trouble or run out of gas out there.  I heard there are “Green Angels” on the toll roads, which is a free service to help you in such cases, but how do you get them to come out and get you?  Naturally, this is the time when one begins to wonder “what is that sound?  Has my car AWAYS made that sound?  THAT IS NOT A GOOD SOUND!!!!”

The military and Federali’s had a MASSIVE roadblock set up in the opposite direction, in the middle of nowhere.  It looked like they were doing some thorough searches.  Not sure if that’s more, or less comforting.  Don’t stare….keep driving!

Around 5pm, the sun is getting ready to retire to it’s place below the horizon and I still have a loooooong way to go.  I should be in Hermosillo by 6:20pm and it can’t be completely dark by then….right?  Well….yes.  Yes it can be!  So here I am about to break the #1 Golden Rule of driving in Mexico: Do NOT drive after dark!!  Well….shit!  Having been aware of the reasons for this rule for years (potholes, cows, topes, banditos), this seemed it should be a lot more terrifying than it was.

It was almost dark when I arrived at the toll booth just outside of the city.  There was a steady flow of traffic being processed through and the lady taking my payment also had a cat with her.  Juice had made an appearance to see what was happening and the lady was SO excited to see another kitty.  She picked up her cat and was waving it at me as if to introduce it to Juice. She totally made my day! Haha!

The toll booth is about 15 minutes from the city and was a very busy area, so I decided that it counted as having arrived at my destination……before it was [completely] dark.  Not everyone (*cough*my parents*cough*)agrees with this, but I felt safe.

I had Google Maps guide me along the outskirts of the city to where the recommended hotels are.  The IBIS comes highly recommended as a pet-friendly accommodation but it is NOT wallet friendly! It was $850 for me and $500 for the cats……AND THEY DON’T EVEN GET THEIR OWN ROOM FOR THAT!  Back to the old drawing board.  I ended up at the Hotel Suites Kino which did NOT come recommended but their website claimed no fee for pets. SOLD!

It is a very old classic Mexican hotel. I can see why it is low on the list for many travellers because it is OLD!  No, it has not been updated. No, it is not a Best Western or anything more “modern”.  It has only one access through a small door at the front and the parking is across the street so you have to Frogger your stuff in (no crosswalks here!) All part of the adventure!!  WHEE!

The price was about $650 and had everything I needed.

Upon bringing the cats up in their crate, I let them out to check out the room.  Bubba tends to go straight to checking out the underside of the bed.  Not this time.  The bedspread goes all the way to the floor, covering the wooden block the bed sits on.  *BONK*

I felt bad for laughing, but his face was priceless.  Good thing it’s already a bit flat! Hehe!

So that’s how I got Hermosillo (*cough*beforedark*cough*) safely.

Apparently, I need a lozenge.

The rest of the trip to Guayabitos was fairly uneventful, so I will skip most of it, except the part about the Twinkies…..you will want to read about the Twinkies. Haha!

Sorry there aren’t many pics….solo driving and in a hurry = no pics.

So I roll into Ely, NV just after 10pm after surviving the encounter at the Mystery Motel of Doom and Axe Murderers which my parents might never forgive me for…(oops…hehe). First things first…WINE!  I have been spotting it at gas stations everywhere super cheap, but decided to just wait until I had arrived.  The Shell station has a HUGE store attached, so I was surprised to find they only had 3 wines, and they were all Barefoot Vineyards.  I guess after all of this driving, I was desperate because I paid $12USD for one where they were $6USD everywhere before that.  EFF!!!  I bought one anyway.  The cashier asked if I would like a paper bag.  I politely declined and turned to leave.  She informed me there is an “open alcohol law here”.

Wut?

“You can’t walk around with open alcohol…..I mean, not that you are, but if you……were….”  I guess this is common here? Haha!

At the Motel 6 I had reserved, the woman at the front desk was not in a cute blue Motel 6 golf shirt like the one in Pendleton.  Nope, this lady was in a food-stained grey tracksuit and was only about 3 cigarettes away from certain death.  She gave me some speech about how it was *supposed* to be her one day off, but no one else could take responsibility for their shifts….”damn kids….blah blah”.  I laughed awkwardly and muttered something about how you just can’t find good help these days….amiright? LOL!

She had a dog with her.  I greet the doggo and he starts wagging his tail.  Poor doggo got in trouble and yelled at.  Sorry, dog.  I thought you were cute 

The lady hands me my room key and my receipt, which has a map of the Motel 6 on it.  There is a pool, laundry room, snack room, morning coffee area…SWANKY! With all the effort she can muster to push air over her nicotine coated vocal cords, she apologizes that there are no units available on the bottom floor, therefore, I will need to haul everything up to the second floor, in the freezing and powerful wind.  “Well, that’s what happens when you reserve late, I guess” I said as I accepted my key.  When I went outside, I noticed…..there are only 4 cars here…including mine.  HOW MANY PEOPLE FIT IN THOSE CARS?!?!?!

Once settled in, wine opened, wine consumed, it was shower time.  No bathtub AGAIN, but I didn’t really expect one either.  Just would have been nice after all the driving; and at 6500 feet of elevation, I was COLD!  The shower here wasn’t the Nipple-Blaster 5000 like the last one.  This one was mounted at a “normal” height but had an S shape to it which put it directly in my face.  There was no escaping it.  The shower curtain was stuck to me like I was heading to a toga party.  The pool of water left on the floor was a clear explanation of the rotting soft spot over by the door; this was NOT the first time someone has had a near drowning experience in this shower! I’m glad it wasn’t my time.

The cats had taken to fighting (probably of the play variety) on the bed as I “sleep”…whatever that even is anymore!  And there is no real blanket, which is annoying when it’s this cold.  So all of that, plus Bubba’s nightly repetition of scratching in the litter box for no reason whatsoever, I did not sleep well.  Only a 9 hour drive ahead.  No big deal!

At 9am, I am about ready to go.  I have taken in, and photographed my exotic surroundings and prepared myself mentally for the boring drive through the Nevada desert.  There is even a place called “Nothing”.  I had hoped to get a picture of it but…well, you know.

Sitting on the bed, plotting my route, I look up to see a face in the motel room window.  There is an old Native fellow wearing a pom-pom touque, peering in at me.  He spooked me which sort of spooked him, and then he yells “HOUSEKEEPING!”.  Not sure if he really was housekeeping or not since it was 2 hours before check-out. I was reminded of why I had to use a chair as an extra security measure: the bonus lock on the door was missing….possibly not replaced after the door was kicked in or pried open (hard to tell).

On the road!!

The area where Ely is located is actually quite scenic.  Just a bit outside of the town is the Humboldt National Forest which was odd because there are no trees there.  Just shrubs.  It was a massive forest of shrubbery! So many shrubs!

I was enamoured with the scenery……and this was only the beginning!

After driving on a long straight highway for an eternity, with no turns or hills, I had the line from Sarah in Labyrinth looping through my head: “There aren’t any turns or corners or anything!  It just goes on and on!”

I got out of the car to take a pic on this unbelievably straight highway.  I saw cars coming, so I waited…..but it took a good minute or so before they passed me.  Seriously….it just goes on and ON!!

The wind was unreal!  And cold!  Having only visited Nevada once before to attend Burning Man, this is not what I expected at all;  but at this point, I was around 7500ft and it’s winter, so I guess that makes sense.

As straight as the highway was, it was just spectacular!  Some find long straight drives boring, but had the drive of my life!  If you were to ask 100 completely random people to each build a mountain, and then lined them all up along a lonely highway, THAT is what you’d get.  It was beautifully diverse; and being the sole driver, I was able to really take in my surroundings and enjoy all of the wonderful details without crashing!  As someone so fascinated by the geological wonders of this planet, I was in my element, for sure.

I had skipped breakfast with the idea that I would stop off the interstate in Vegas for a nice lunch, hopefully get an oil change and DEFINITELY get a carwash.  I hadn’t washed Milton since the last few runs on the lake road and felt terrible about it.  Every stop earned me more dirt on my clothes and belongings.

Well, as if I hadn’t learned by now, there is no such thing as “stopping just off the interstate”.  Google maps carefully navigated me through the chaos to the point where I concluded I was NOT going to be stopping in, or anywhere near Vegas.  I was hangry and disappointed I had no time to rubberneck my way through Las Vegas.  When I realized how low on gas I was, I started looking for a U-turn when I *thankfully* rolled into Boulder City.

Price of gas at an all-time high for this trip and no sign of anything to eat other than a Burger King and a sushi joint.  I wanted a Wendy’s.  Why is there never a frigging Wendy’s?  They have salads….SALADS, America!  S-A-L-A-D-S!! They’re real, I swear!

I fuel up and carry on…..still a hangry beast, but that’s the joy of travelling alone.  No one to get offended by my bitchiness!  Whoopee!!!

Next up: Kingsman!  Still not a salad to be found.  I’m going to starve to death, I am sure, so instead of eating a cactus, I brave the Carl’s Jr drive through.  Not sure exactly what happened during the ordering process, but everyone there was pretty excited to see cats at the window.  Perhaps this was all in an effort to distract me from the fact that they did not give me the “real” chicken tenders I had ordered, but some sort of star-shaped processed nuggets.  ARGH!!!! I should have eaten a cactus!

Slightly less hangry and more mildly irritated, I pressed onward to Mesa, AZ.  The road is not very exciting, but easy to navigate, so that’s nice   I think Nothing was supposed to be around here.  Maybe I found it, maybe not. The full moon was about to make an appearance so I pulled over into what appeared to be someone’s driveway (?) and let the kitties have a little food/pee break while I watched the moon come up over the hill.

Well, the cats never moved and I don’t know how long I was out for, but the moon was WAY overhead and my neck was sore.

ALIENS!!!  I’m telling ya!  Haha!

After cruising through a place called “Surprise” (as in you thought you reached Phoenix but SURPRISE!…you still have another 30 miles to go and SURPRISE….still no damn Wendy’s), I was greeted by a closed highway in Phoenix which Google Maps refused to re-route me around, only to arrive at my friend’s community unable to open the gate with the code given, and no cell service.  I drive down the road a bit and try again.  I’m pretty done with everything at this point.

My friend texts “stay where you are…..I’m coming to get you.  Where are you?”

“I don’t know!  I’m by a fucking cactus!”….ahem, *deep breath*  “I’m down the street by a cactus…lol!”

She rescued me, got me ‘home’ and had a chilled beer in my hand before I could even say “hello”.  BLISS!!

I slept for the first time in weeks.  It was comfy, it was quiet, it was GLORIOUS!  And with no plans to be on the road the next day, I shut my alarm off. *BLISS*

I woke up to the smell of coffee and fresh baked muffins.  The backyard and scenery are so perfectly Arizona. The cats had plenty of space to roam about and were clearly thrilled to be out of the damn car! I was really looking forward to coming here and was not disappointed (except by Wal-mart…but that’s different).  I joined my hosts poolside for a lovely REAL breakfast and planned my day.

Wal-mart & and oil change.  Simple!

NOT!

While Cathy was very kind to drive me there, American Wal-mart was disappointing compared to my memories of border-hopping back in the day.  It was expensive and the selection was shitty.  I did get most of what I needed, but the magic was gone.  Walgreen’s would have been sufficient, and far more convenient, but now I know.

The oil change was a good deal, but the guy was reluctant to let me leave with only 2mm left on my front brakes and 2000kms still to go on my trip with a full car.  $300 USD and the problem would be taken care of.  In a panic, I messaged my dad.  I can’t afford that!!  He assured me I could wait until Mexico, so I took a breath, and waited!

Being the type that meticulously makes lists, but still manages to do most things last minute, I was late getting on the road the next day due to thinking getting Mexican car insurance would be easy.  Everyone says it’s easy but my paranoia of doing it wrong made it entirely more time consuming than it should have been.  That and mailing off some last minute taxes, I was a good hour behind my goal.  I promised my parents if the border was busy, I would stay somewhere near there so I wasn’t stuck on a highway at night, which is the Golden Rule of driving in Mexico.  My goal was to reach Hermosillo, Sonora for the night and I am aware there is road construction and possible line-ups at the border.

Did I get my stubborn ass to Hermosillo before dark?  Well……depends on who you ask. Ha!

This has been an absolute whirlwind adventure so far.  I’ve pushed myself mentally and physically far beyond my comfort zone and have been riding on an adrenaline high for what feels like weeks!

As I frantically scrambled to tie up loose ends on my way out of the country, I found there were some I couldn’t take care of right away; so as I was making my way to the Osoyoos border, I had to make several pit-stops.  2 post office stops, and one at a courthouse (long story…not coconut related, but VERY important!),one at the craft supply store (more on that in the future), and one to pick up the phone charger Mom & Dad left in the truck in Kelowna.

It was already getting dark and I was fighting my way through Kelowna rush hour traffic (WHEE!) and it was starting to rain.  My friend in West Kelowna, Olivia, had promised me a long overdue hug should I stop in on my way.  I was SO late, so it was really just that…a hug, but oh-so worth it!

All charged up from my little dose of Livi-love, I was off like a CRV rocket to get to the US border ASAP so they could go through my over-packed car and confiscate the cat’s food (they are apparently quite uptight about pet-food).

On the way through Oliver, the cats started to get quite antsy.  I didn’t want them to be acting like jerks whilst crossing the border, so I pulled over in case they needed a snack, water or litter box break.  None of the above.  No sooner did I stop the car and Bubba had Juice in a head-lock in the passenger seat.  Screeching and hissing ensued.  I looked at them and said “SERIOUSLY?” and they both stopped, & pretended to be innocent.  KIDS!  Am I right??

Once at the border, I had crated the kids just to be on the safe side (which is frowned upon with human kids, BTW).  One officer took my passport while another popped the back window to have a poke around.  Right where the bags of cat food were hiding under a blanket.  As the officer asking the usual questions asked me “any drugs or firearms?” I choked on my words because there were SO MANY JOKES!!  Like….”Firearms!?  Sorry, no…..is that a prerequisite to enter the US?”  Or “No drugs for ME, and I’m no narc, so I won’t tell you the cats are packing catnip””

Thankfully, before I tried to make a funny, I realized that these guys might not take it so well.  Also, they had COMPLETELY missed the fact I had 2 cats and 2 bags of cat food…one opened, which is supposedly a no-no.  Just drive, Amy.  DRIVE!!

So drive away, I did.

I felt a bit cheated, to be honest.  I got away with only about 2 minutes of my time spent there; but I felt like I had been studying super hard for a test, only to have the teacher say “The test is cancelled!!  You all get an A!”

But……but….I was PREPARED!!

*sigh*

So onward!  Through Washington to Pendleton, Oregon for the night.  It was dark.  It was foggy.  Sorry…I meant FOGGY!  Quite possibly the WORST fog I have ever driven in.  It was insane!

**Side note: Little known fact about me:  In 22 years of driving, I have had about 6 car stereos.  Every single one of them has slowly fallen behind in time about 10-15 minutes and just stays there.  Every time!  WTF?  My latest deck is supposed to sync to my phone, which it did when I first set it up, but then fell behind by 13 minutes, only to randomly right itself about a week before I left.**

As I was driving through this incredibly dense fog, I was reflecting on all of the Stephen King movies I’ve seen and wondered…”What sort of evil is lurking in this fog?  Monsters?…….Aliens?……..*gasp*…Trump supporters???”

I glanced back at my clock and it was an hour and 5 minutes ahead!  Heart rate goes up…..”SHIT…it was aliens!”

I scramble for my phone to confirm I was missing 65 minutes of my life, but no….just another weird thing with my clock.  *whew*  Well, at least it wasn’t Trump enthusiasts!  Haha!

I arrive at the Motel 6 in Pendleton at 1:15am.  The cats were restless having had another scrap in Walla Walla.  Maybe it was because Walla Walla smelled like the broccoli you forgot about in your crisper last year and has since partially liquefied; or maybe they were sensing that I was so hungry, I ate at ARBY’S!!  *cries*

As I’m unpacking the car into my little ground-floor room, I noticed a kitty in the parking lot.  “AWW….A kitty!!” was my first thought, but then I realized it was MY kitty!  And the other one is just making a run for it!  So at 1:30am, in freezing wet weather….I am herding cats in a Motel 6 parking lot.  You can’t make this shit up…..really!  The folks at the Super 8 next door were surely entertained.

The room was ok.  Not sure what I expected for a Motel 6, so I guess it was fine.  I was hoping for a bathtub for a faux-spa experience (LOL!  “faux-spa”?….damn, I’m funny!) but there was only a wedge-shaped shower.  Not a big deal, but the shower head was installed at about the 5ft mark.  My boobs have never been so clean!  *ouch*

First morning of this adventure.  I have already cleared an entire state into Oregon….or should I say “Boregon”?!  I realize this is only one part of it, but I had such great visons of what it was like!  The fog acted as a blank canvas for my imagination!  Well…..this part of Oregon, and the corner of Idaho I drove through…well…

Meh….

I had to pee.  I stopped at a Rest Stop outside of Twin Falls.  So far, Rest Stops in the USA have been very nice.  This one seemed just as good as any.  I went in, did my thing, and proceeded to wash my hands.  The mirrors looked strange.  Maybe it was the lighting?  Were they made of some sort of polished stainless steel?  I pushed on one to see…..stared at it for a bit.  Went to the car to get my phone.

Well….I’m not sure, but that very well could have been mirrored glass!  Seems unusually inappropriate for a nice bathroom on the interstate, but Google suggests it just might be so!  So there I am, phone in hand, pressing on the mirror, trying to decide if there is a “gap” between my finger and my reflection. Haha!  Clearly, I am bored at this point! *shakes head*…ONWARD!!!!

It was dark.  I was tired and hungry.  The interstate highways don’t allow the option to preview what you might find at an upcoming exit so I was reluctant to take random exits to find out.  I was surviving on Kashi bars, carbonated water and Cherry Coke Zero (yeah…go ahead and judge.  I know it’s terrible).  I knew Jackpot, NV had several hotels and casinos, so I figured it would be a suitable place for a food stop.  Maybe a Wendy’s salad…or Subway?

WRONG!  Jackpot is a LIE!  There is only a handful of big hotels and casinos…in the middle of nowhere.  Unless you are there to gamble, you might as well keep on driving.  That is until you get 10 minutes out of town and realize that is ALL for who knows how long, so you turn around to get gas.  Because it’s cold, snowy, and lonely out here.  Would be a terrible shame to get stranded!

More Kashi bars….

After a quick stop in Wells, NV, I have acquired food, messaged the ‘rents, and am back on the road for my final 2 hour stretch.  Getting pretty tired, not much sleep these days.  The interstate is blissfully straight and the moon is full, so I can almost enjoy the scenery…..but there is NOTHING around.  I’m hoping to find a spot to pull over and run a few laps around the car, but there are no pull-outs and at 120kms/hr, one generally doesn’t see wide spots in the road until it’s too late.

About an hour away from Wells, and 2 hours to Ely, NV, I spot a sign for a Rest Area ahead.  Other than the creepy mirror thing, these have always been great stops.  I see a transport truck stopped, so I pull off the road into a parking lot, of sorts.

Turns out, this wasn’t the rest stop, it was a creepy old abandoned motel!  Not only was it creepy because the doors were all open, and the Venetian blinds all mangled and moving in the wind…..it was creepy because the furniture was all still there and it hadn’t been vandalized with graffiti and such.  It was like someone just left it and forgot about it.  Or maybe they were taken…by ALIENS!!!!! Haha!  Well, I did get out and do my laps.  Yes, I did try to see the rooms a bit closer, and yes, it *did* make me run a bit faster.

An hour later, I was safe and sound at the Motel 6 in Ely, which was a whole other experience.  Shower and all!

More on that later.  Gotta hit the road early tomorrow!